You can see a future with him but you’re not sure if he feels the same way. At times, he seems super interested in you — he’ll hang out with your friends, take you out on dates, and maybe even tell you how much he likes spending time with you. Other times, you can’t tell exactly where you stand. If you’re not positive about whether or not he’s serious about your relationship, that’s probably a sign that he isn’t. Here are some other ways to tell:
- He Doesn’t Remember Little Things About You And Your Life. He remembers big things, obviously, like your name and that you’re an only child, but he doesn’t know your birthday, your favorite color, your Starbucks order (huge red flag!) and he usually always forgets your best friend’s name. Basically, he doesn’t care to remember the things that make you who you are.
- He Disappears For Days And Then Comes Back Without Explanation. He’ll go days without texting you and then out of nowhere, he’ll send you a flirty message or ask to hang out later. Even when you try to be mad at him for basically ghosting you for a couple of days, you can’t. He’s just too good at saying exactly what you want to hear.
- He Uses You To Boost His Ego. He’ll text you a lot when he’s having a crappy day at work or when he’s fighting with his friends and/or family. You might think this means he trusts you to be his voice of reason and that could be it, but he also knows that you’re going to build him up with compliments about how great he is and how lucky you feel to have him in your life. That’s what he’s really looking for — someone to boost his ego when he’s a little bit off his game.
- He’s A Big Fan Of Group Dates. Most of your dates aren’t really dates — they’re more like meetups. He’ll ask you to “come out” to this bar or this restaurant or wherever he is with his friends to hang out. Yes, you two are spending time together, but it’s not super intimate time — it’s casual AF.
- You Never Have His Full Attention. How many times does he check his phone when you guys are hanging out? If it’s more than a couple of times, it sounds like he’s not giving you his undivided attention. Even if he’s not texting while you talk, is he really listening or is he just giving you generic “Oh, yeah” or “That’s crazy” responses to everything you say?
- It Takes Him A While To Make Concrete Plans. He can text you all day Thursday and Friday but he can’t ask you to hang out until 9 p.m. Friday night. WTF? No, it’s not because he’s shy and nervous about asking you out — it’s because he doesn’t want to commit to seeing you unless he’s sure nothing better is going to come up.
- He Can’t Make Time To See You. He says he’s too busy to see you during the week because work is always crazy and his schedule is constantly changing. Is he the President of the United States or a McDreamy level surgeon? What job could he possibly have that’s changing his schedule so much that he can’t get dinner or lunch with you during the week?
- Your Friends Think He’s Sketchy. If your best friends are questioning whether or not this guy is genuine, it’s probably because they see something you don’t. Your friends think he’s being way too casual in this relationship and they’re questioning his hit or miss behavior because they care about you. Take their opinions seriously. Your friends (if they’re really your friends) should like the guy you date, if not, you shouldn’t be with them (at least, that’s what I think).
- He Claims To Not Be Into Labels. Ugh. He’s told you that he hates labels (or that he’s not ready for one) and that’s why he’d rather just keep “having fun.” It makes sense… except it totally doesn’t! He’s comfortable with labels he just doesn’t want to use any that stick him to you in a committed, permanent and serious way.
- He Focuses More On Your Body Than Anything Else. When you two hang out in private, he’s ALL OVER YOU. This kid basically pounces on your body like a tiger devouring its prey. Sure, it’s hot, but you’ve started to notice how interested he is in your body… almost a little too interested. Sex seems to be way more important to him than sitting down and having an actual, intimate conversation with you.
