10 Signs He Doesn’t Want To See You Thrive

You’re dating a guy who seems really great. He cares about you and encourages you, so you assume he’s your number-one supporter. Hopefully that’s the case, but if he’s doing these 10 things, he may be secretly rooting against you.

  1. He gives you unsolicited advice. You mention that you’re going to start a business and he’s quick to give you advice even though you know what you’re doing and don’t need him to teach you. This type of behavior can be a sign that he wants to show you how much more knowledge and experience he has. It’s more than just annoying — it shows you that he wants to be better than you.
  2. He cuts you off. When you share your dreams and goals, he might pretend that he’s happy and wants to hear about them, but then he’ll sneakily cut you off mid-sentence and change the subject. Over time, this will show you that he’s actually not keen to hear about them because he doesn’t support you.
  3. He’s distant when you’re popping champagne. He’s always around when you’re having a bad day, but when you’re popping champagne to celebrate something you’ve achieved, he’s always too busy. When you’re happy, he’ll be neutral or even a bit miff as though to balance out your emotions. That’s super shady! Your partner shouldn’t only support you during the bad times, they should be cheering you on during the good times, otherwise, what’s the point of having them in your life?
  4. He tells you about his success. When you share something amazing that happened to you, like that your artwork got through to the second round of a prestigious competition, he’ll try to steer the conversation back to him. He might tell you about his success to show you that his is more important. Insert eye-roll.
  5. He makes you feel guilty for having dreams. When you have to cancel a date because you have to work, he might throw a passive-aggressive comment your way or tell you that you’re choosing your career over him. He wants you to feel guilty for having other priorities in your life because he’s jealous of your success and feels left behind.
  6. He makes nasty comments. When you purchase a new suit for your upcoming work presentation, he asks if you have a shopping addiction or says that the outfit isn’t your usual style. He’s trying to find any way he can to bring you down even though he’s acting like he supports you during the rest of the time. Sneaky.
  7. He pretends not to notice. While he might not be mean, he might pretend not to notice that you’re wearing a gorgeous new outfit or that your mutual friend is congratulating you for your recent work promotion. If you have to spell out your happiness or your success, understand that he’s acting like it’s NBD because he doesn’t support you.
  8. He drains your energy. When you feel high as a kite because of an idea you had and you want to share it with him, his reaction makes you feel zapped of your energy, maybe because he seems unmoved or looks at you like you’re nuts. Ugh. What he’s really doing is brushing you off as though your feelings and thoughts don’t matter.
  9. He tells you what’s wrong. Even if you’re making good strides to achieve your dreams, he’s the one who’ll tell you that your plan/goal is totally wrong and you won’t be successful. He’ll dress it up as though he’s the one to tell you the truth so that you don’t get hurt, but that’s really a cover for making you feel crap because he’s jealous. When you feel bad, then he feels better. This guy’s toxic!
  10. He leaves you hanging. When you invite him to a work function or awards ceremony where you’ll be receiving a prize, he doesn’t commit to being your plus one until the last minute. If this always seems to happen when the event is about you and your success, it’s unsettling. He basically wants to exert some power over you, however small. This type of guy is not looking for an equal but someone he can control. It’s like by leaving you hanging, he can steal some of your spotlight and happiness. Don’t let him!
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.