Make no mistake, there’s a distinct difference between paranoia and intuition. When we ladies know, we know, so don’t ignore your gut feeling on this. I’m afraid that when these 10 things start happening, you’re right to suspect that something is up with your guy.
You reach couple status with actions but not words.
You’ve had major wins with your dude lately. He’s invited you over to his place, he calls you regularly, and you’ve even gotten chocolate or flowers from him. I mean, this could not scream leveled up from the talking stage anymore, right? Except when you bring up a title or even the word “relationship,” he instantly recoils in horror like you woke him up from his sleep wearing an IT mask. Why act coupled up then seem so confused by the conversation? If no one else is in the picture, it shouldn’t be a problem to admit you’re his.
He starts offering unsolicited alibis.
You didn’t ask what his plans were this week, but for some reason, he’s very insistent to account for how he’ll be preoccupied the next few days in exact detail. Oversharing by volunteering excess info can be a sign of telling straight-up lies. He wants you to know where he says he’ll be so you won’t question the absent time away from you that he’s really spending with her.
He doesn’t respond to you until the next day.
Unless you know he regularly goes to bed early, it’s majorly sketchy if you hit up your guy in the evening and don’t get a response until the next morning. Especially if he offers a typical cop-out excuse like, “Oh, I didn’t see your message” or “I must have fallen asleep.” Even worse is if he doesn’t even acknowledge the silence and keeps it pushing with an evasive, “Good morning, beautiful!” like nothing happened and he magically can’t see your unanswered text above that message. He probably just didn’t want her to catch him on his phone talking to you.
He won’t introduce you to his circle.
I get not wanting to bring every new girl you’re dating around your friends and family, but hiding in the bushes away from the crew can only go on so long. Integrating lives is part of the natural progression in relationships and if he’s trying to keep you separate I would start to wonder if you really are the main lady in his life or are falling right into place as an unknowing side piece and this is so not cool.
He claims he’s “against PDA.”
I hate to break it to ya, sir, but there are eyes everywhere. Traffic cameras see you two out together and even your phone apps might be listening in on your convos. What’s the deal with the attempted secrecy then when you get dropped off from or picked up for a date? Who’s watching that you don’t want to form a conclusive opinion about the nature of us being together? Short of a full-on sexual act, if it can be done behind closed doors not sure what the difference is outside.
Other women are openly talking to him.
You ever think a man is your guy alone but then see other females obviously flirting with him out in the open? Maybe he does something harmless like changes his profile pic on social media or makes a new post. Nothing wrong with that until you see a chick feeling bold enough to react to everything and even leave flirtatious comments. Um, excuse me? She clearly cannot be all to blame because he must be giving off “free agent” vibes and soaking in all the attention for other women to think that’s OK to do.
He’s inconsistent with his flirting and charm.
Let’s say one day you text him when you know he’s at work. You’re trying to be coy and seductive to set the mood for later when you know you’re gonna see him. He’s all into it and even sneaks a few naughty pics under his desk to send you a sneak peek of what you’re going to experience that night. Another day you try this tactic again when he’s supposedly home or just out and about, but the response is flat. Hello, am I talking to the same person? The difference could be at work you’ve got his attention since he’s alone, but when he’s with her he’s got to play off his texts and keep his cool. That means no joining along with your sexting role play. He’s got to keep it impersonal and short to maintain a poker face with his other girl.
He has unexplained charges on his card.
Depending on where he went, this one can certainly raise some red flags. For instance, if he goes to the bar with his buddies, a high tab can be attributed to who knows how many drinks he got that night. But if he’s spending $50 on a random lunch at Panera, I would have some questions. Last I checked, alcohol wasn’t on the menu and even with a smoothie. I’d like to know who else’s mouth was being fed as well.
He deep cleans his place out the blue.
If you’re regularly over his place and have seen it looking lived in, this can be considered a questionable move. I’m not talking a routine spring cleaning or even Saturday afternoon pick-up. More like, you were literally just there and then within hours or the next day for no reason it looks oddly renewed. Was this really an innocent clean or more like a cover-up for what he was hiding? Could have also been a by-product of combing through in search of a tossed condom wrapper.
He’s less frequently in the mood.
You wouldn’t think of a woman getting turned down in the bedroom by a man, but it does happen. If this wasn’t the case before and just started happening, I’d be wary of where his needs are already being met.
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