10 Signs He’s Going To Be An Annoyingly Needy Boyfriend

The stereotype is that women are usually the clingy ones in relationships, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t guys out there who require a lot of attention and who latch onto the first girl who shows them a little bit of interest. That’s why, if you’re an independent woman with your own life, you need to be on high alert for a guy who exhibits the following red flags. Otherwise, you’re going to end up with a very needy boyfriend.

  1. He tries to rush things. Clingy guys need to be in a relationship and they need a woman who accommodates their every whim. If you’re his girlfriend, he’ll have more leverage for getting what he wants — hours and hours spent together whenever he pleases. Because of this, he starts moving at lightning speed, being overly needy, and acting desperate to be your boyfriend. It’s not flattering, it’s freaky.
  2. He double texts… often. If you don’t respond to a text within a certain time frame, your future needy boyfriend probably sends the classic “???” to try to prompt you to write back. That, or he just acts like he doesn’t even notice you’re not writing back and continue to ramble on. Clearly he has nothing more important going on so he needs your undivided attention. He either doesn’t get that you have a life outside of him or he simply doesn’t care.
  3. He doesn’t really have any close friends. He’ll have a few acquaintances, work buddies, and friends from school that live on the other side of the country, but actual guys he can call anytime to go out for a drink with so you can go out with the girls without him trying to tag along? Nope. This is one of the biggest red flags that he’ll be a needy boyfriend. He has no one else to chat to or hang out with so that responsibility will fall squarely on you.
  4. He needs to know what you’re doing all the time. A needy boyfriend likes to text all day long even though you’re both at work. If you don’t respond for an hour, he’ll casually ask where you’ve been. If he’s not with you, he wants to know exactly what you’re up to, and while it might seem sweet at first, eventually it will become annoying and possibly even downright creepy.
  5. He pouts when you have plans that don’t involve him. Since he never has any big plans of his own, a needy boyfriend expects to be invited to everything you do. He doesn’t want to stay home alone while you’re out having fun. While it’s nice he wants to be having fun with you, you still need time apart. If he doesn’t get that, you’re going to have some issues.
  6. He fishes for compliments. A guy who needs constant validation of his worth is a guy who’s never going to be comfortable with having separate interests. He’ll think that if you really like him, you’ll want to be around him all the time and if he can’t have that, at least he can manipulate you into telling him how great he is instead.
  7. He’s all over your social media feeds. When you’re apart, a needy boyfriend is all up on your Instagram liking the selfie you posted that morning or on your Facebook commenting on a video you shared last week. If he can’t physically be with you, he’ll satisfy himself with your social media presence, and he has no problem liking ten pictures in a row from a bachelorette party you went to last year. No boundaries whatsoever.
  8. He latches onto your hobbies. If you’re going to a painting class one night or your weekly hot yoga session, he’ll pretend like he’s always wanted to try those things to get you to invite him along. Beware of the dude who tries to insert himself into every aspect of your life because once he grabs hold, he won’t be easy to shake.
  9. He’s an aggressive cuddler. Not only is he emotionally clingy, but he’s physically clingy. A needy boyfriend just has to be touching you at all times, whether it’s in public, on the couch while you watch a movie, or while you’re trying to get some sleep. Don’t expect him to roll over after a few minutes either — he’s going to be strangle-cuddling you all night long.
  10. He’s a little too buddy-buddy with your friends and family. Not that you don’t want the guy you’re with to get along with the important people in your life, but there’s a time and a place. He shouldn’t be texting your brother and making double date plans with your friends after meeting them once, it’s just weird.

How to deal with a needy boyfriend

Just because he’s a bit more high-maintenance than other guys doesn’t necessarily mean he won’t make a good partner. However, it’s important to nip a needy boyfriend in the bud if you hope to have a decent relationship with him moving forward.

  1. Set boundaries early on. When dealing with a needy boyfriend, it’s really important that you’re clear and upfront about your expectations, boundaries, and deal-breakers from the get-go. Tell him straight up that you don’t want to hang out 24/7 or that he shouldn’t keep texting you at work when you’re not responding because it’s distracting and you’re busy. Being clear and concise about what you want and what you won’t put up with is a must. He can’t say he didn’t know when you’re being so upfront about it.
  2. Don’t compromise on “me time.” Just because your needy boyfriend wants to spend 24/7 with you doesn’t mean that’s what you want to do, and it’s certainly not healthy anyway. Make sure you’re still taking time for yourself to practice self-care, relax, and just do the things that you want to do. No explanations should be necessary.
  3. Work hard to maintain your life outside of your relationship. In addition to taking time for yourself, you should also be able to have relationships with friends and family members, pursue your passions and hobbies, and have a full existence outside of your relationship with your needy boyfriend. He should be doing the same things in his own life, and if he’s not, that’s a serious problem.
  4. Don’t cater to his excessive demands. He might expect you to drop plans to hang out with him at the last minute or ask you to spend all weekend in bed with him instead of hanging out with your friends, but that’s not your responsibility to deal with. Your needy boyfriend needs to realize that he’s not going to get his own way all the time. If he can’t accept that, you can’t be together.
  5. If he seriously can’t change, suggest he gets professional help. It’s possible that he’s a needy boyfriend due to circumstances in his childhood or family background that left him with abandonment or other issues. In this case, it’s not his fault. However, it’s also not your responsibility to deal with those issues or attempt to fix them. In this case, it might be time for him to speak to a professional who’s better equipped to help.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.