10 Signs He’s Lost Interest But Doesn’t Know How To Tell You

­­The dreaded “what are we?” convo is never fun. It sucks when you’re really into a guy but can’t gauge where he stands. It’s even worse when the current vibe doesn’t match what it used to be and you’re not sure if that’s a sign he’s done. If you’re questioning your relationship and need to know once and for all what’s up, here are 10 clues he’s emotionally exited stage left and you need to move on too.

  1. You feel it deep down. Your intuition doesn’t lie. Most of the time we just know the truth before even having hard evidence or being ready to admit it to ourselves. Your gut will sense if something is off and you need to listen to what it’s telling you. Stop calling it confusion and recognize the unrest you feel about the situation as a sign.
  2. He stops planning dates. If a guy wants to see you and spend time with you, he will. Most guys jump at the chance to take a romantic interest out. If a date goes well, you should know before leaving or soon after when the next will be or that the prospect of another one is on the table. If you went from dinners and movies to now having no idea when you’ll see him again, this typically isn’t a good sign. It’s even more suspect if you bring it up and don’t get a clear response from him about this.
  3. He’s “busy.” This is a cop-out, plain and simple. Stop making excuses for him when he says this. We’re all busy and even if you aren’t and he really is people make time for what they want and prioritize in life. He’s not busy, he just doesn’t want to include you in his plans.
  4. He doesn’t make jokes/tease you anymore. No matter how tired you are of being the butt of his ridicule, it’s usually a good sign if he’s being lighthearted and wants to mess with you. If a guy goes from giving you a hard time to now always being serious he’s likely tired of how you react and doesn’t even want to risk an argument or confrontation of any sort at this point. He’s pretty much over you and shutting down a part of himself to pull away.
  5. He stops complimenting you. Not all zodiac signs are heavy on verbal flattery so if this was something he never really did in the first place, I wouldn’t read too much into it. Words of affirmation may also not be part of his love language. But if he used to shower you with admiration and this is no longer, I’d be worried.
  6. He directly tells you. Look, if he makes excuses or says it’s not a good time for him, just move on. Don’t hold onto hope when it clearly isn’t there. You should be pursued not vying for someone’s attention or begging for a guy to see your worth. He may be a good guy, but he’s just not good for you. If he tells you he doesn’t want it, take his words at face value.
  7. He intentionally does obnoxious things. Examples of this include taking hours to text back when he used to respond right away, avoiding holding your hand or other forms of innocent PDA, not using manners or having discretion with TMI (doesn’t hold back a loud burp), or staying on his phone the whole time you’re together. If it suddenly seems like he’s going out of his way to piss you off and trying to be obviously unattractive to any sane partner, it may be because he actually is doing just this, on purpose. He wants you to be turned off and break it off with him so he doesn’t have to be the one to end it with you.
  8. He starts becoming inconsistent. Your relationship used to have a natural flow, but now things are choppy. You may not hear from him for days, don’t hook up on a regular basis anymore, and formal dates are few and far between. He may ignore an entire holiday you expected him to share with you (like Christmas or Valentine’s Day). He’s checking out of the relationship and this will only get worse until he stops communicating completely. If you don’t text or call him first, it’s likely you’ll never hear from him again.
  9. He’s always in a mood. He used to be funny and spontaneous, but now is endlessly brooding, has nothing to talk about, or has a complaint of some sort. When you ask what’s wrong, you don’t get a response that clearly explains the ongoing dark cloud over his head. Most people aren’t this miserable and serious on an extended basis. He’s forcing this demeanor to drop a hint. He hasn’t lost his spark; he’s just not lit up for you anymore.
  10. He stops trying to get to know you. If this is someone you just started seeing or who hasn’t been in your life for a long time, it’s likely there’s a lot he has to learn about you. If he dropped off from asking questions and engaging in revealing conversations about your character and past, it may be because he knows enough about you to determine he doesn’t want to know any more or even you at all in a romantic capacity. He’s figured out what he wanted to know to decide if you’re part of his future and since you’re not why bother continuing the getting-to-know-you convo. He’ll also stop telling you about himself and you’ll probably be limited to cordial chatting and small talk.
I’m Cara, not to be confused with Carrie, although you could say I’m a Millennial Bradshaw of sorts. Pop culture connoisseur. Lover of all things creative and passionate about health and personal well-being. Follow me on IG @cara_vale_writer