When you can’t gauge someone’s interest, it’s enough to drive anyone crazy. Mixed signals make it hard to decode a guy’s real feelings, so how do you know when it’s time to throw in the towel? Look out for these signs he’s not interested in you romantically and if you notice any of them, accept that it’s probably best to move on.
He doesn’t look at you. Does he always seem distracted? At first, you just played it off like he’s playing hard to get. In reality, he just isn’t paying attention to you. It hurts, but think about it: is this how you want to be treated? You deserve someone’s full attention and unfortunately, that guy isn’t willing to give it.
You initiate everything. Dating should be a two-way street. It takes two people to form a connection. If you’ve always been the first one to contact him by texting, calling, or setting up the plans, it’s a big red flag. If you think you’re just being eager and excited to talk to him, resist reaching out first. From there, you’ll see if he realizes he hasn’t heard from you. (“You up?” texts don’t count, sorry!)
He doesn’t ask questions. One way to know someone’s into you is by the number of questions they ask. When you like someone, you want to know everything about them. It’s important to stay curious. If he hasn’t asked anything other than your name, your number, your sign, etc. since first meeting, it’s not worth the effort in continuing the chase.
The distance is literal. Body language tells a lot about a person. Getting close is the goal, both physically and emotionally. However, if you find him getting further and further away from you, it’s time to fly the red flag. He should want to be closer, not closed off. And if he starts avoiding your touches, it’s time to be done. There’s no point in trying to be with someone who keeps their literal distance.
He leaves your texts on read. Since smartphones have been out, it’s so easy to get in contact with someone. The only downside is the transparency with which we respond (or don’t). Those pesky read receipts can be a real stressor, especially when you’re trying to build a relationship. Constantly seeing messages from days ago being left on read means he’s not interested. You can make all the excuses in the world — “He’s probably tired from work,” “He’s busy with friends and family according to Insta,” “Maybe his phone glitched.” — but it’s an overwhelming possibility he doesn’t want to talk to you.
Your time together is short. Is he always antsy to end the night early? You might not realize it, but one way he shows he’s not interested is by cutting your time together short. He’ll either make up an excuse like he’s tired or he made other plans, but it’s rarely the case. When someone likes you, they’ll want to spend as much time as they possibly can with you. Don’t drive yourself crazy wondering what’s wrong with you. It’s him who has the issues.
He’s hot and cold. Yup, Katy Perry really hit the nose on this one. One minute he’s all over you and the next he acts like you don’t exist. He’s constantly changing his mind, never able to commit, and doesn’t know what he wants. Don’t let his indecisiveness rub off on you. You know what you want and that’s someone who’s interested–it’s just not him.
He asks you about dating advice. Oh boy. This is a doozy and unfortunately, it happens. Just when you think you have him locked down, BAM! He hits you with a scenario of being interested in a girl and how to approach her. At first, you think he’s being cute by roleplaying about your budding relationship. This is when he’ll confess his feelings, right? Wrong. Turns out, he’s actually talking about someone else. The moment this happens, walk away and don’t look back.
He doesn’t care about your other relationships. Now, I’m not saying he has to–what’s in the past is done and over with. But if you were vulnerable enough to let him in on your previous relationships, he should care. He should care how other guys have treated you and make it known he won’t make the same mistakes. He should want to make a difference in your love life, and for the better. If he’s not capable of it now, he won’t ever be.
You know in your gut he’s not interested. Intuition is a powerful thing. Listen to your gut when it says this relationship is going nowhere. Someone who’s interested won’t ignore you or make you feel unworthy. When you start feeling unsure of yourself and him, it’s time to give up. He should give you that butterflies-in-the-stomach sensation and not make you question every step of the way.
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