You want to find lasting love and a long-term relationship but instead, you’re stuck in the total BS game of modern dating. You feel like every guy is just going to let you down, and while that seems harsh, you’re pretty sure it’s true. Fortunately, it’s not—there’s a great guy for you out there, for sure, but if he does any of these things, he’s definitely not it:

He cheats on you. Cheating is one of the most selfish acts a person can commit. How can a man claim he loves you or even cares about you if he’s willing to betray you like that? Soulmates don’t cheat on each other. When there’s a problem, a person in a good relationship confronts it head-on. He doesn’t look for solutions or companionship outside of the relationship. At the end of the day, a man who deserves you would never commit this deep betrayal.

He takes you for granted. A man who deserves you will know how to appreciate you. He’ll feel lucky to have found you and grateful that you actually want to be a part of his life. He won’t make you feel like you’re not good enough or like he could do better. He’ll know how wonderful you are and he’ll remind you of that fact every single day. That’s just what good men do.

He ignores your texts. Guys deserve at least a little time to text you back. After all, he should have more to do with his life than waiting around to message you back within five minutes. If you’re waiting days for a reply, though, then guess what? He’s not “The One.” He’s just a guy who’s barely interested and keeping you on the hook just in case he ever gets bored, and you definitely deserve to be treated better than that.

He keeps your relationship a secret. He might like to keep things on the down-low, but you should never feel like his dirty little secret. It’s one thing to not blast your relationship status all over social media but it’s another thing entirely for him to hide you from his friends and family. If he’s keeping you a secret from the rest of his life, he’s not good enough for you. He’s just another dirty liar who’s hiding something—or someone.

He avoids commitment. He’s just “not ready for a relationship”—BS. A man who’s truly interested won’t need to keep his options open. If a guy’s really interested, he won’t want to keep things casual or string you along. If he really wants to be with you then there will be no ifs, ands, or buts. He’ll actually want to commit because at the end of the day, he wants a life with you.

He breaks your heart. Breaking up and getting back together isn’t the love story of two people who are meant to be together. A guy who’s worthy of your time doesn’t run at the first sign of trouble. If you’re actually meant for each other then you’ll stick together through thick and thin. A man who’s willing to lose you once will be willing to lose you again. Don’t ever forget that.

He pressures you into sex. If he’s actually the right guy for you then he’ll care enough about you to wait until you’re ready to take that physical step. He’ll know that you’re worth the wait. If he’s willing to let you go over something as minimal as sex then it’s pretty obvious that he doesn’t have a real emotional connection to you.

He manipulates every fight. You go into a situation being mad at him but you end the fight with an apology coming from your mouth, not his. Instead of feeling sorry for hurting you, he makes everything your fault and you go right along with it. In the end, you’re not willing to lose him, but he is willing to lose you. Manipulation is his game, and that’s a clear indication that he definitely doesn’t deserve you.

He makes you feel bad about yourself. What kind of guy would he be if he made you feel worse and not better? Definitely not the kind of guy who deserves to have you in his life. Love is supposed to make you feel good. The world is going to beat you down, but the guy you deserve is supposed to be the one person who will always build you back up. You’re worthy of a man who sees how wonderful you are, not a man who fixates on your imperfections.

He acts too busy to see you. If he’s really interested then he’ll make time to see you. Sure, he might actually be busy and maybe he can’t see you every day, but if he’s only hitting you up when he’s bored or when every other plan falls through, he’s not worthy of you. He’s just another guy who’s using you when he has nothing better to do and you deserve so much better than that.

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