The definition of a narcissist is someone who has “an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.” It can create major problems because narcissists are so self-obsessed that they’re incapable of thinking about or caring for anyone else and will hurt many people as long as it serves themselves. Does the guy you’re talking to fit the criteria? Here’s how you’ll know.
He talks mostly about himself.
First of all, narcissists always dominate the conversation, so much so that you feel like you can’t get a word in edgeways whenever you’re with him or even just talking on the phone or texting. Initially, it probably won’t be all that noticeable because you’ll be so interested in getting to know him. Later on down the line, however, it’ll start driving you crazy! (Trust me, I’ve been there.)
He doesn’t ask you anything about yourself.
Because he’s so obsessed with himself, he probably isn’t all that interested in your life when you talk. It’s all “me me me” and whenever you try to talk about you, he might even interrupt you just so he can talk about himself some more. Yawn.
He doesn’t listen to what you have to say.
When you try and talk or respond to what a narcissist is saying, they tend to “check out” and not listen. You know he’s doing this because he’s most likely staring into space and doesn’t offer you anything in response or seem to care about what you’re talking about. Basically, it’ll just feel like he’s waiting for their chance to talk again, and that’s not cool.
He’s always a little too well-dressed.
Narcissists aren’t only obsessed with their own conversation, they’re also obsessed with their looks. If he always dresses immaculately, you know it’s because he’s trying to put his best foot forward. Even though this can seem like a good quality for a boyfriend to have, this means he would spend hours getting ready — probably longer than you — and swapping outfits until he’s satisfied he looks good. You’ll be waiting around for him for what feels like forever.
He’s always groomed to perfection.
Not only does his dress sense always seem to be spot on, you’ll be able to tell if he’s obsessed with himself if he grooms himself on a daily basis (or perhaps even two or three times a day). I’m talking about constant preening and “touching up” in the mirror, whether it’s plucking his eyebrows or applying oil to his beard. He may even go and get his eyebrows professionally done or have weekly haircuts and facials. Either way, he just won’t be able to get enough of himself — and ideally, you want your other half to be obsessed with you, right?
He’s overly focused on getting a tan.
Another sign that he’s majorly into his looks is if he regularly complains that he’s “not tan enough” and always wants to be sat in the sun or heading to his local tanning salon. He may even use fake tan, which will stain your bedsheets (and your skin) if he ends up becoming your boyfriend. Gross.
He’s selfish in bed.
A narcissistic lover is always all about himself in every aspect of a relationship, including the physical side. He’ll expect you to make him happy without giving any thought to the fact that you have needs too. It won’t be fun (or pleasurable) for you.
He’s constantly trying to make you jealous.
If he truly loves himself, he’ll want everyone else to love him too. That’s why he flirts with anyone in a skirt and only spends time with those who enhance his ego even further. He comes across as arrogant with the opposite sex and act like he doesn’t care about whether he hurts you.
He punishes you when you hurt him.
Because he can’t deal with anyone bruising his large ego, a narcissistic guy finds ways to put you down when you hurt him (even if it’s unintentional). Whether it’s leaving your messages on “read” or cheating on you with Karen from his office, he’ll do just about anything to make sure he always has the upper hand in your relationship.
He’s actually super insecure.
The reason narcissists behave like they do might surprise you. Deep down, they’re actually very insecure and scared about being alone or rejected. But they don’t want to show it as they think that shows weakness. That said, don’t feel guilty about not continuing dating a guy who seems obsessed with himself. After all, a relationship with a narcissist could end up being a toxic one.
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