10 Signs He’s Playing You For A Fool

You might feel excited to go on another date with the hottie you met a few weeks ago, and during this early dating stage, it’s easy to turn a blind eye to any red flags. But make sure you pull the blinders off and pay special attention to what he does because he might be showing you clear signs that he’s really not quality boyfriend material. Some of the red flags are pretty subtle, so we’re here to expose them. If your guy’s doing any of these 10 things, they’re signs he’s playing you and it’s better to cut your losses now.

  1. He rocks up late. There is nothing more frustrating than waiting around for your date to turn up. How many coffees can you order, all while feeling as nervous and exhausted as you look? How many texts can you send asking him if everything’s cool? If he never arrives on time, the guy clearly doesn’t respect you. Being late can happen to anyone at some point, but make sure he’s not making a habit of it because it says a lot about him.
  2. He gives you one day in his week. Is this guy really busy? How busy? Is he really as busy as he claims or is he acting like he’s saving the planet while normal people manage to go on dates? Insert eye roll. If he can only see you on a Thursday evening or Saturday morning, or any other time that makes you wonder why he’s putting “Do Not Enter” signs around the rest of his week, that’s a huge red flag. You’re convenient for him but he’s not going to open up the doors to his entire life.
  3. He sees you as an open book. You’ve been forthcoming with this guy about who you are, what you want out of life, and where you’re at when it comes to relationships. But, you can’t say the same about him. While he wants to know every little thing about you, he’s closed off and doesn’t answer your questions. Hmm. Relationships are supposed to be a two-way street. He shouldn’t make you feel like he’s keeping himself at arm’s length. What is he hiding? Sometimes guys will pay extra attention to you to take the spotlight off them. Sneaky, sneaky – and a major sign he’s playing you.
  4. He’s a stage-five flirt. The guy is always flirting with you, to the point where you think he’s probably going to ask you out any second now. The problem is he never does. A guy who’s just messing around will turn flirting into an Olympic sport that’s sadly nothing more than a dead-end. Yeah, he’s always hitting on you, but he’s never actually doing anything about it. What a freaking waste of time.
  5. He’s a texting addict. Imagine having a guy in your life who wants to talk via text all the time. It sounds like a dream, doesn’t it? There’s a catch. If all he does is text but he can never actually see you in person, that’s a bad sign. A guy who’s legit interested in you is going to take things off your phones and into real life, otherwise, he’s probably never going to take things to the next level. Why? Because he doesn’t want to.
  6. He paints himself as a hermit. He seems to have an active social life on Instagram and Facebook but he never wants to go out on dates with you in public. He’s always bringing pizza to your apartment or inviting you over to his place. What gives? This guy clearly isn’t open about whatever he’s got going with you and doesn’t want to behave like a couple. Bottom line: he’s not serious about you. Move on!
  7. He’s keen to “keep things as they are.” This is one of the major signs he’s playing you. You’re over that early dating stage in which you’re excited about getting to know the guy. You know the guy and you want to date him exclusively. But when you try to ask him where he’s at, he’s quick to tell you that he’d rather just keep things casual ’cause he likes the way things are. Ugh. After a few weeks of dating, he should know what he wants from you. If he doesn’t, he might not actually want anything more than hangout sessions so don’t hang around him waiting for him to choose you. He would’ve already done it.
  8. He’s a “we’ll see” kinda guy. When you suggest movies on Friday night, he says he’ll have to let you know. Same goes for spontaneous dinner and other date activities you suggest. You want someone who can commit to seeing you and clear out his schedule for you sometimes. If it feels like he’s never ready to go on a date with you and can’t plan ahead for dates, he’s nothing more than a casual dater.
  9. He acts weird when you surprise him. If you were in his neighborhood (uh, sure) and decided to visit him at home without texting first, would he be welcoming? If not, that’s a bad sign that he doesn’t have good intentions. If you don’t want to drop by unexpectedly, you could try phoning him out of the blue. If he’s never available, that tells you everything you need to know. You’re convenient to him but not girlfriend material in his eyes.
  10. He’s hot and cold. If he gives you mixed messages, loving you one day and being cold the next, the guy is showing you that he’s unreliable and inconsistent. This is not someone who’s going to make a good boyfriend because you won’t be able to trust him. It’s also dodgy if he’s acting interested but then making you doubt him all the time. Maybe he’s got issues or a girlfriend waiting for him at home. Either way, that’s not your problem so don’t get sucked into his drama.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.