You think he’s ready to start a relationship with you, but are you sure he’s in the right head and heart space? If he’s doing any of these 10 things, he’s not over his ex. In fact, he could actually be using you to get over her.
He’s filled with anger.
Whenever you speak about your exes, he gets really angry about what his ex did. While that might make you think he’s really over her, it could point to the opposite. He’s got a passionate, emotional response that could point to feelings that he hasn’t properly buried.
He doesn’t want to talk about her.
If you’ve tried to start a conversation with him about his ex and he’s really quiet or shoots down the conversation before it can be ignited, that’s a bad sign. What is he hiding? This is especially a red flag if he’s talked about other exes quite easily. What is it about his feelings for her that make him so precious about her?
Her name is always in the air.
You’re talking about buying a fitted sheet for your bed and your guy tells you the story about his ex and where she used to buy cool sheets. Um, random much? If it seems like his ex is always coming up during conversation even when you’re talking about trivial things that have nothing to do with previous relationships, that’s a bad sign she’s always on his mind.
He gets mad when you air an opinion.
When he says something about the nasty things she did when they were together and you express how lousy that was of her, he might suddenly turn on you by looking angry or getting mad with you because you’re putting her down. Ugh, what? It’s enough to make your head spin! So, what, now he’s defending her? Oh my word.
He doesn’t want her to move on.
If he acts jealous when his ex finds someone new, that’s a sign that he might still have feelings for her, especially if he changes towards you. He might also be competitive with her, trying to get into a new relationship before she does. Ugh. Don’t let him use you to get over her. You’re worth so much more than that.
He adores her family.
It’s one thing for him to speak fondly of his ex’s family, but it’s quite a different story if he still goes fishing with her dad or texts her brother. Who does that? If he’s still a part of her family life, it could be because he’s trying to get back into her life.
He compares you to her.
Again, just because he’s saying negative things about his ex, it doesn’t mean he’s over her. He might say you’re a kinder/smarter/lovelier person than she was, but it’s not right for him to compare you to her. It also shows that he’s always measuring other women against her, like she used to be on a pedestal… or still is.
He still makes excuses for her.
You know she wasn’t the one for him and you thought he knows it too, but it seems like he’s always finding reasons or excuses for why she hurt him. For example, he might say that she’s afraid to commit because her parents got divorced or she’s got baggage from previous relationships. It always seems like he’s still trying to see the best in her, and it’s troubling.
He’s still got the mug she made him.
Does he still own and use the items that his ex made for him? It could be a mug she made or a funny poem she wrote. While that might not immediately point to him having feelings for his ex, it’s worth chatting to him to find out why he’s hoarding this sentimental stuff.
He’s still got boxes of her personal items.
Imagine the scenario: you’re chilling at your new boyfriend’s place when you find a massive box of all of his ex’s belongings. Why on earth would he still have these? Wouldn’t he have given them to her (or disposed of them in some way) after the breakup? Hmmm.
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