10 Signs Your Insecurities Are Holding You Back In Life

Insecurities are a part of life. Even though the goal is to accept ourselves 100%, the fact remains that we’re all our own worst critics, and there will always be something about ourselves we aren’t happy with. As long as you don’t let your insecurities prevent you from living your life and reaching your goals, it’s all good. But if you tend to let those insecurities dictate every decision you make, you’re probably missing out on a lot of great opportunities because you assume you aren’t good enough. Here’s how to tell if you need to cut yourself some slack in life.

  1. Sometimes you think there’s no point in trying. If you get it in your head that you have no shot at succeeding, you’ll decide there’s no point in even trying. But even if you don’t have every qualification listed in a job posting, the only way you won’t have a chance at that job is if you don’t apply. So try anyway, because you never know.
  2. You can’t accept a compliment. Instead of saying thank you when someone pays you a compliment, you reject whatever nice thing they said about you. Whether it’s just in your own head or out loud, it’s unnecessary. You don’t get to decide whether someone else thinks you’re beautiful, funny, or smart. If they tell you that you are, do everyone a favor and just believe them.
  3. You have a hard time standing up for yourself. If you aren’t confident in yourself, you’re going to find it difficult to fight back when someone isn’t treating you right. Instead of thinking, “Hey, I deserve better than this,” you just accept it because it plays right into your insecurities anyway.
  4. You don’t like taking risks. Rather than try something new, you like to stick to what you know you’re good at it. But always going the safe route is going to guarantee you never advance. Sometimes you have to do something even though there is a chance you might fail.
  5. You would never make a first move. For whatever reason, you expect rejection. You definitely aren’t going to put yourself out there and ask a guy out, because you’re positive he won’t be interested. But just having the confidence to make a first move is a turn-on for most guys, so you’d have a step up over a lot of other girls if you swallowed your pride for a minute and went for it.
  6. You’re always self-deprecating. You’re a lot more comfortable pointing out your own flaws rather than have someone else beat you to it. But chances are, if you’d never said anything, they probably wouldn’t even have noticed whatever it is you think is wrong with you.
  7. You’re rarely confident in your opinions. Even if you do speak up every once in awhile, you have no idea how to really sell what you’re saying. Most of the time you’re so afraid of saying the wrong thing that you’d much rather say nothing at all.
  8. You care too much what people think. If someone gives you even one tiny hint of criticism, you fall apart, because as far as you’re concerned, they just confirmed what you always knew— you aren’t good enough.
  9. You focus on the negative. Instead of seeing the silver lining, you always zero in on everything that could go wrong. You figure instead of getting your hopes up and being disappointed, it’s better to be prepared for the worst.
  10. You’re way too hard on yourself. Basically, you’re a sore loser. You aren’t good at failing because it just reinforces every negative thing you already believed about yourself. Even when you succeed, there’s always something you would have done differently, so you can never just bask in the glory of a victory.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.