10 Signs You Make Your Love Life More Complicated Than It Has To Be

Dating is confusing and weird, but it doesn’t have to run your life. In fact, it really shouldn’t. It’s not great to spend all of your free time worrying about the guy that you’re dating (or worrying that you’re single if you’re not seeing anyone). Can you relate? If these 10 things sound like you, then you definitely need to simplify your love life.

  1. You never trust a guy when he says he likes you. In your mind, there’s no reason to because you’ve been burned so bad in the past. So what if he says that he likes you? All of those other guys said that they were into you, too, and look what happened. While no one would blame you for feeling this way, it’s super unfair to you (and to him). Honestly, if he says that he likes you, he does, and you should listen. Otherwise, you’ll never move on from your crappy experiences and have an actually good one.
  2. You don’t ask anyone out. Yeah, it’s cool being asked out, and at least then you figure that someone’s interested. But if you never do the asking, what if there’s a great guy that you know who could be exactly who you’ve been looking for? You’re selling yourself short and missing out if you never get the courage to ask guys out.
  3. You worry when things are going well with a new guy. If the guy that you’ve just started seeing tells you how he feels about you, the two of you are hanging out regularly, and all signs point to this continuing to go well, why would you freak out? Oh, because you tend to worry about nothing. When you overthink things about your love life, you overcomplicate them, and you’re going to just make yourself miserable.
  4. You think about your friends’ love lives way too much. It’s only natural that you’re worried that one of your friends is in a bad relationship, and you swear that the new guy in another friend’s life is just using her. But guess what? You’re only going to upset yourself if you think about other peoples’ dating lives all the time. Do yourself a favor and take a deep breath and focus on your own life.
  5. You don’t want to come on too strongly. It sucks that women get called clingy for literally asking a guy to hang out once. Instead of freaking out over coming on too strongly with the guy that you’re into, why not just go with it and be open about your interest in him? You’re going to be miserable if you pretend that you’re too busy to see him on a regular basis. There’s no reason not to spend time together if you like each other.
  6. You actually care what other people think. When you’re single, everyone that you know has an opinion. Your mom wonders why you can’t get married already. Your coupled up friends shake their heads at your bad date stories. They have a right to their opinions, no matter how rude or unfair they might seem, but if you worry about what they think about your love life, you’re the one who suffers. Who cares about them? This is your life and it’s your happiness in the end.
  7. You see every guy as the exact same. It’s easy to get into the habit of comparing the guys that you’ve dated, whether casually or in more serious relationships. That’s normal. The trouble starts when you don’t believe that there are nice, good guys out there and when you think that every new guy is just going to treat you as badly as the other ones. That’s when you start thinking that there’s no point dating and that you should just stay home with Netflix. It’s definitely time to get out of that negative frame of mind.
  8. You invent problems. Sound familiar already? You’re the one making your love life super complicated if you create issues where they really are none. You always have a worst case scenario going in your mind, no matter how good things are, and even if you don’t realize that you’re even doing this, it’s going to seriously mess with you.
  9. You tell your BFFs everything. On the one hand, this seems like a great idea since you love getting your friends’ advice and on the other hand, this is a surefire way to end up miserable. Your friends may want the best for you and yet they might not really have a good read on the situation. What if they give you horrible advice and lead you astray? Trust your own instincts, not theirs.
  10. You forget the entire point of dating. Of course you’re looking for love and you want to take your love life seriously. You have your future to think about and you don’t want to settle. If you’re forgetting the entire point of dating, which is to have fun and enjoy yourself with an amazing person, then you’re basically doing this whole thing wrong. Forget the worrying and the overthinking and just relax. What good is finding the love of your life if you’re just going to complicate things way too much?
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.