9 Signs Motherhood Isn’t For You

It seems like the older you get, the more people start asking when — not if — you’re going to settle down and pop out a few babies. While plenty of women seem perfectly designed for motherhood, not all of us are so eager to bring a child into the world. Here’s how you know that becoming a mom probably isn’t in the cards for you:

  1. You laugh when someone asks you when you’re having a kid. When someone brings up the idea of you having a kid, you can’t help but crack up because it’s so ridiculous. You can’t imagine having someone always needing more and more from you, and you don’t even want to think about all the poopy diapers.
  2. You get anxiety when a friend gets pregnant. As a full-grown woman, you still gasp when you hear that a friend is having a baby. It feels like you’re in high school mode, paralyzed with fear, wondering what the hell they are going to do. Okay, I get that we are all older and more financially established, but can Betty from college actually handle a baby? The last time you saw her, she was doing a body shot off of a frat boy.
  3. The ‘soccer mom’ life makes you squeamish. I’m not saying that every mom has to be a soccer mom, but the idea of trekking through town in a minivan with three little stinkers in the back makes you feel a bit faint. You’re not one for spending your Saturdays running from game to game.
  4. You can’t see yourself settling down in the next five years (or ever). Some people just don’t want to live in one place forever. Maybe you want to live in Europe, or Australia, or South America. When you have a kid, it can make those big jumps a million times harder. If the idea of being tied down to a specific location puts a weight in your stomach, kids might not be part of your ideal future.
  5. You’re too restless in relationships. If you can’t seem to find a guy worth dating for longer than a few months, you’re likely not going to want to have a baby with any of them. Maybe you’re looking at the wrong guys, or maybe you’re a free spirit who doesn’t want to be tied down. Either way, a baby doesn’t exactly fit into that equation.
  6. Your lifestyle isn’t necessarily baby-proof. Your apartment is filled with empty tequila bottles, and you haven’t done laundry since last month. Your idea of breakfast is mimosas and bloody Marys. That’s not really the type of environment you want to raise a child in, so you choose to keep your space kid-free.
  7. You can’t even commit to a dog. As much as you love the little pups, you can’t bring yourself to commit to one. Having a dog means that you can’t take spontaneous weekend trips to the Hamptons or spend a week in Cabo with your girls. If you don’t want to commit to a dog, do you really want to commit to a kid?
  8. You’d rather travel the world. If travel is your baby, more power to you. Some women would rather see the world than have a child, and there’s nothing wrong with that. If your next five years are mapped out by which country you want to visit next, then motherhood probably won’t fit into that lifestyle.
  9. You love other people’s kids, but the idea of having your own doesn’t excite you. Just because you don’t want to have kids doesn’t mean you don’t adore them. Society makes women out to be witches if they don’t want kids. They’re portrayed in movies as cold-hearted hags who can’t even hold a baby without squealing. The truth is, you can love kids, have a maternal instinct, and still not want to have children of your own. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that isn’t okay.
Piper Ryan is a NYC-based writer and matchmaker who works to bring millennials who are sick of dating apps and the bar scene together in an organic and efficient way. To date, she's paired up more than 120 couples, many of whom have gone on to get married. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Cut, and many more.

In addition to runnnig her own business, Piper is passionate about charity work, advocating for vulnerable women and children in her local area and across the country. She is currently working on her first book, a non-fiction collection of stories focusing on female empowerment.
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