10 Signs He’s Not Feeling It & You Need To Get Over Him

Trying to figure out if a guy likes you can feel like hell on earth. It doesn’t matter how strong and confident you are—you still want to be, well, wanted. Sometimes, you veer into desperate territory without even meaning to, and he really just isn’t that into you. If you can relate to this, then here are some signs that he’s not feeling it and it’s time to move on.

  1. You made the first move… and every other move too. Of course it’s 2017 and you can make the first move. That doesn’t mean that you should keep asking him out and keep moving things along. Does he seem like he’s just agreeing to whatever you say but isn’t actually pursuing you? That’s bad news.
  2. He never texts you. Ditto above: you can totally text him, but if you’re always initiating communication and he honestly never gets in touch, that should tell you all that you need to know. He’s not thinking about you, he doesn’t consider you a part of his world, and he probably never will. Texting him a million times isn’t going to change that.
  3. You have to make all of the plans. Think about the last few times you got together. Did you make the plan every single time? Did you choose every restaurant? Every bar? You might have thought it was cute that the two of you went bowling last Friday night, but if you suggested it and he merely agreed, maybe he just went because he had nothing else to do. Yeah, that sounds harsh, but it’s better to know that someone isn’t into you sooner rather than later. You definitely don’t want to be making all of the plans. He has to put in some effort, too, and if he doesn’t, he doesn’t like you.
  4. You remember everything… and he remembers nothing. This can make you feel absolutely crazy. It’s like you think you’re already in a relationship and he’s treating you like you just met moments before. If you know a ton of stuff about him and always remember to ask about his latest job interview, but he can’t be bothered to ask about something you brought up the last time you hung out, that can’t be good.
  5. He changes the subject a lot. Sometimes you talk to someone and it’s like you can’t get anywhere. You try to stay on one topic but he won’t stop asking random questions or telling stupid stories. It’s totally possible that he’s afraid that if you guys have a real conversation, you’re going to want to know how he feels about you. If something feels off, it probably is. You deserve a guy that you can actually talk to.
  6. You’re preoccupied because of him. Sure, when you’ve got a crush, you’re all junior high about it and you think about him all the time. That’s totally normal. You shouldn’t feel like you’re so confused about him that it’s taking over your entire life, though. That’s when you know you’ve got a problem and he’s just not feeling it.
  7. You have nothing in common. It’s possible to date someone that you don’t have much in common with… but absolutely nothing? That makes things pretty hard. You might not care and you might like the differences but that doesn’t mean he’s cool with it. He might be backing off because he doesn’t know how to say that you just have nothing in common.
  8. You only hang out at your place. Not everyone has an ideal living situation. He might have weird roommates and it might be too awkward to spend much time there. If this guy isn’t in that boat, though, and seems to have his own place but you only hang out at your apartment, that’s a serious red flag. He’s not bringing you into his life, and that says something (and not anything good).
  9. You’re jealous of other couples. When you’re single AF, it makes sense that you get envious of couples since, simply put, they have love and you don’t. When you’re in a new relationship, you shouldn’t feel that way since you should be satisfied with who you’re with. Feeling like a green-eyed monster is a sign that something is off and you’re not being treated the way that you want and need.
  10. Every date is like the first date—there’s no progression. There has to be a sense that you’re moving forward when you start seeing someone. Otherwise, it’s like Groundhog Day: a perpetual first date. Since most first dates suck, that sounds pretty horrible. You should definitely walk away if this is happening because it just proves that this guy doesn’t know how to get out of dating you but he’s not going to commit. Why would you even want to stick around?
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.