It sucks to feel like you’re significantly more invested in your relationship than your partner is, but sometimes when you like someone, it’s easy to ignore critical warning signs that it’s actually the truth. If you’re not sure if you’re in a completely unbalanced relationship or even one that’s bordering on being one-sided, be on the lookout for these red flags.
You’re the one constantly planning dates and activities. It seems like they never plan a date night for the two of you or initiates making plans at all. They rely on you to come up with the game plan and don’t seem to have much of an input or interest either way. Maybe they’re just lazy, but often times, being uninterested in plans with you might mean they’re not that interested in you altogether and aren’t that committed to your relationship.
They’ve met your friends and family but haven’t introduced you to their and doesn’t seem to want to. Everyone deserves private time with their friends and family, but if your S.O. avoids introducing you to their friends and family after you’ve been dating for a while and doesn’t ever mention the possibility of it happening, that’s probably a sign that they’re not as serious about your relationship as you are.
They’re hesitant to commit to any future plans. Not committing to future plans is definitely a sign that they’re not that committed to your relationship. Do they say “we’ll see” a lot when you bring up things you’d like to do in the next few years? Do they avoid answering when you ask them to be your plus-one for something a few months away? It’s probably not because they’re unsure of his schedule, but more likely because they’re unsure of your relationship.
It seems like they’re hiding things from you or not being completely truthful. Are you getting shady vibes from them? You might want to listen to your intuition. Look for signs that they’re not being honest with you, like being super protective of their phone and changing their story multiple times when you ask them how their night out with their friends went. They might be keeping their options open if they’re not seriously committed to your relationship.
They never get jealous. Too much jealousy can be overbearing and controlling, but it’s also not a good thing if they never, ever get jealous, especially in situations where it would be completely normal for them to be. For example, if they don’t even bat an eye when someone offers to buy you a drink at the bar, they’re probably not that invested in your relationship.
It’s normal for them to disappear for hours/days. Do they often take a long time to text or call you back? Do they usually wait for you to initiate contact rather than go out of their way to see what you’re up to or how you’re doing? These are red flags that they’re not as into the relationship. Not responding to texts or calls for hours isn’t a normal thing in 2018 when everyone is constantly attached to their cell phones and accessible 24/7.
Whenever you stay over at their place, they make sure you don’t forget anything there. Although this may seem nice and helpful, it’s actually a sign that they’re less committed to your relationship than you are if they’re always reminding you not to forget your t-shirt or your toothbrush. It means they don’t want traces of you around their place and don’t want to have anything of yours to return in case they decide to disappear in the future.
They’re often “too busy” to see you. They don’t go out of their way to spend time with you or do things with you unless it’s something they’re interested in. They’d rather go without seeing you for a whole weekend than miss the game. They also usually choose to spend time with their friends over you. Simply put, they just don’t think it’s a big deal if you go several days or even a week without hanging out. Seeing you should be a priority, not an afterthought.
They never have any suggestions on how to make your relationship better. If they suggest ways that could improve your relationship, that’s a good thing. If they never do, it means they’re not that invested in it and doesn’t really care whether it improves or not.
They never argue with you or get annoyed about anything. You don’t want a partner who constantly fights with you, but not being invested enough to speak up and ruffle some feathers is a sure sign that they’re not committed to it. If they don’t ever get upset or angry even when you know they kind of should, that’s a sign they really don’t care enough about your relationship to put up a fight. Ugh.
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