Unfortunately, sexism is alive and well, and men don’t always treat their girlfriends as equals. Douchebags can camouflage themselves as respectable men and sneakily try to run the show in a relationship, and some men don’t even consciously realize that they’re being condescending jerks. Either way, you deserve a relationship where you’re seen and treated as an equal. If he’s doing any of following, the problem is him, not you.
He walks ahead of you all the time.
This is the classic sign of perceived superiority. It wouldn’t kill him to adjust his stride and walk beside you.
He expects you to stay home with the kids.
Whether or not a woman stays home with her babies (real or hypothetical future babies) is a very complicated decision. If he expects you to make all of the sacrifices without getting any say in the matter, he definitely doesn’t have enough respect for you.
He talks about your career like it’s a hobby.
Belittling your career choices is a huge red flag that he thinks he’s better than you. He should respect your decisions and aspirations, even if they’re ones that don’t come with big, steady paychecks.
His vote counts more than yours.
Some people always seem to get their way, even when the vote is split 50/50. His vote shouldn’t be a trump card when there’s a disagreement.
He always gets the last word.
Always getting the last word makes him feel more powerful or like he “won” the argument. There’s something seriously wrong with a man who can never stand to lose a fight.
He doesn’t consult you before making large decisions.
His choices affect you. If he respected you as a partner, he would discuss large decisions with you before making them.
He makes social plans without your input.
He can’t just plan your social calendar and expect you to be a cheerful plus-one. If he doesn’t think he should ask you before he commits to you attending an event, there’s something wrong.
He doesn’t take your concerns seriously.
He shouldn’t be dismissive of your concerns or be able to decide when you are done having serious conversations. That’s just rude and condescending.
He doesn’t respect your boundaries.
If he can’t seem to let you have alone time or a night out without him, he definitely thinks he’s the boss in the relationship. He can’t insert himself into your life wherever he wants and still claim to respect you.
He tries to change you.
You wouldn’t try to change someone unless you thought you were better than them, right? If he’s trying to change how you eat, dress, conduct yourself, etc., it’s time to RUN. You don’t need anyone trying to play puppet master with you.
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