10 Signs You Shouldn’t Be Sleeping With The Guy You’re Sleeping With

Even though people like to describe awesome things as being “better than sex,” there are plenty of sexual experiences that could make this a pretty weak compliment. There are lots of really hot people out there seem like they’d be amazing to get in bed, but end up being total disappointments. If your sexual partner displays any of these signs, start searching for someone else to get frisky with:

  1. He doesn’t listen to you. The key to good sex is good communication, and half the key to good communication is good listening skills. A guy who ignores your requests in bed or keeps doing that thing you hate no matter how many times you say you hate it isn’t a good sexual partner. Never help a man to orgasm if he can’t even be bothered to pay attention to what you want.
  2. He’s selfish. A guy who doesn’t even attempt to make you feel good isn’t one who deserves to have sex with you. If he doesn’t engage in foreplay or doesn’t seem to care whether or not you get your O, leave him alone to masturbate by himself until he learns that sex is a two-player game.
  3. There’s no chemistry. Sometimes, even when everything seems fine on paper, things still don’t work out when it comes to actually getting down to business. Sexual chemistry is a very real thing, and if you don’t have it, it’s going to be tough to enjoy getting naked together. You’re not a bad person for breaking things off because you just don’t have a good sexual vibe going.
  4. He doesn’t reciprocate. If you go down on him, but he refuses to go down on you, stay away from that jerk and his penis until he learns some manners. No one should be forced into doing something they don’t want to do, but that doesn’t mean that you should feel obligated to go all-out when he won’t do the same for you. You and your partner should have sexual equality, and that means not letting him get away with taking advantage of your generosity.
  5. He treats you like a sex doll. If you like being treated like this, more power to you, but if not, never settle for a guy who only puts in the amount of effort that it takes for him to get off. A dude who doesn’t bother with warming you up, doesn’t show affection during the act, and doesn’t care whether or not you get off is just using you as a living, breathing fleshlight. You KNOW your standards are higher than that.
  6. He’s not willing to learn. Even worse than a guy who doesn’t seem to listen is a guy who straight-up denies that he could use some improvement. These dudes usually think they’re God’s gift to women, so their egos get pretty seriously wounded when you suggest that they’re anything but perfect in bed. A man who refuses to change his game no matter what you say isn’t going to get any better as time goes on… mostly because he won’t allow himself to.
  7. He refuses to use protection. There is no orgasm more important than your health and safety. If you want to have protected sex, but he makes excuses (“But there are no condoms in existence large enough for me!”), turn him down not just once, but every single time until he respects your desire to stay safe.
  8. He doesn’t look at you. Nobody can blame a person for closing their eyes with the sex is THAT good, but there’s a difference between doing that and staring at the wall instead of your partner when you’re gettin’ it on. Looking into each other’s eyes the whole time might be a bit forced, but at the very least, you shouldn’t be sleeping with a guy who would rather look at the headboard than your awesome bod.
  9. He won’t spend time with you afterward. The serial hitter-and-quitter is bad news. If he has a habit of remembering all the errands he needs to run less than a minute after he gets off, he doesn’t value your company nearly as much as he values your vagina. Even if you guys are strictly hookup buddies, you deserve better than to be kicked out of his house as soon as the deed is done.
  10. He expects it. Hoping for sex and expecting it are two very different things. If this dude gets mad at you for turning him down or suggests that you owe him sex, laugh him right out of your room. You don’t owe this guy crap, especially if he’s going to act like a toddler when he doesn’t get what he wants.
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu brown belt. She's also a TEFL/TESOL-certified ESL teacher and an equine enthusiast. Originally from Pennsylvania, she lived in Costa Rica for a while before moving to Australia. In addition to her work as a writer and editor for Bolde, she also has bylines with Little Things and regularly writes for Jiu-Jitsu Times.

You can follow Averi on Instagram @bjjaveri or on Twitter under the same handle.