10 Signs The Guy You’re Talking To Is A Flake Who Will Never Follow Through

You guys have been chatting and getting to know each other for a while, and you’re amped to start dating in person but for some reason, plans never seem to solidify. Are you sure he’s not going to lead you astray? If any of these 10 things are happening, the guy’s a total flake. Don’t waste your time on him.

  1. He’s the rain-check king. Does he always have to cancel and reschedule plans? Ugh. It’s frustrating, especially when you’ve spent time getting ready only to be blown off. Although he might seem to have a valid excuse for why he’s bouncing every time, it should start to make you wonder if he’s ever going to commit to dating you.
  2. He’s got a chock-full schedule. Maybe you’re tired of waiting for him to ask you out so you suggest drinks or dinner only to be met with, “My schedule is so busy. I can’t get away for anything right now.” Riiiight, not even a quick drink after work? If that’s not a sign you should step back and stop giving him so much attention, then I don’t know what is.
  3. He’s suddenly available when it suits him. The flaky guy is one who’s not reliable or consistent. He’ll surprise you by rocking up to your house and asking you out on a date or calling you to say he’s got an opening in his schedule. Don’t be flattered. If he’s only available when it suits him, he’s not ready to compromise and he certainly isn’t making you a priority in his life. There’s nothing flattering about him fitting you in because his other plans fell through. You’re just an option.
  4. He’s all about horny texts. If he’s always trying to steer your chats to sexy subjects, the guy’s clearly just playing. He’s bored and/or lonely and needs you to entertain him. Insert eye roll. Flirting is great, but too much of it and nothing else is a bad sign.
  5. He’s coming on strong. Okay, he might really be excited to meet up with you in person, but if he hardly knows you and he’s expressing how amazing you are and/or how much of a connection you have with each other, that should raise a red flag or two that he’s going to self-destruct. He’s throwing on the interest, but why? Can he back it up in real life?
  6. He never follows up. He asks you what you’re getting up to on the weekend and you wait, thinking he’s about to ask you out. Only he never does. He’ll say whatever you plan is totally cool and then tell you about the awesome time he’s going to have. Um, is it just me or does it seem like he’s more of a friend than potential boyfriend?
  7. He’s all about the laughs. It’s awesome to connect with someone and feel good around them because they make you laugh so much. However, this is totally a faux connection instead of a real one if you’re not having deeper, more meaningful, and serious chats every now and then. You’re just good-time buddies.
  8. He’s not invested in you. Does he really ask you questions, other than asking how your day was? If he’s not really interested in you, how you think and feel, and what you want out of life, you have to wonder if this guy’s really after something real with you or he just wants to have casual fun. If it’s the latter, he’s not going to follow through.
  9. He’s a “we’ll see” kinda guy. You like making actual plans, but it’s like he can never commit to them. When you suggest going out, he’ll say “We’ll see.” While your plans aren’t definite, what’s certain is that he doesn’t want to close off his other options. Ugh.
  10. He’s all talk. If the guy’s all about chasing his dreams and becoming a millionaire within the next year, those grand ideas should have you stepping back a little and paying attention to what he’s really showing you. This guy’s all about chasing the dreams – and chasing you, such as with those grand gestures that made you weak in the knees – but he might not have much of a foundation underneath those big ideas. So be careful around him, especially if he’s all talk and can’t commit to anything in his life. Who says he’ll be able to commit to you?
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.