10 Signs You Don’t Actually Like The Person You’re Dating

10 Signs You Don’t Actually Like The Person You’re Dating

It’s easy to delude yourself into thinking that you’re into someone when you’re really not, especially if you’ve been single for a while and really want a relationship. Here are 10 signs you don’t actually like the person you’re dating.

  1. You’re embarrassed to be seen with them in public. This one seems like an obvious one, but so many people stick it out or try to force it when clearly the relationship isn’t working. If you’re in public and you cringe when your partner says something to a stranger, you don’t like your partner so much. You shouldn’t be embarrassed to be around your date.
  2. You’re afraid friends/family won’t like them. If you have a feeling that your friends or family won’t like the person, it’s not the end of the world but it is something to take note of. Maybe you and your family don’t really get along, and that’s fine. However, if you think all your friends and your family won’t like who you’re dating, then you’ve got a problem.
  3. You vent about them to your friends constantly. Your friends seldom hear the end of it. You’re complaining about your date, how they’re not texting you enough, they aren’t attentive in person, or that you don’t know they like you. Whatever your complaints, it’s evident that you don’t feel totally grounded in your decision to be dating this person. In fact, you seem kind of miserable.
  4. You’re trying to fix them. If you think they’re so flawed that you need to swoop in and fix them up, you probably don’t like them in the first place. You should like the person just for how they are. You shouldn’t feel the need to change your date. If you do then they aren’t your person.
  5. You constantly dream about other people. You have this person in front of you but you want someone else. Whether you’re literally dreaming about others at night or daydreaming about them during your week, the person you have in front of you isn’t the one you want. It’s a big flashing sign when your eyes are constantly wandering away from what you already have.
  6. You’re ignoring a red flag. Something like the fact that they smoke cigarettes or told you that they might be emotionally unavailable indicates danger. These would be red flags that you really can’t ignore for very long, but you’re trying to anyway. Red flags go against your values or your likes. They really indicate you don’t fully like the person.
  7. Your intuition is yelling at you. You’re avoiding it but your gut is telling you that the person you’re with is the wrong person. Somehow, that voice deep down inside of you just knows what’s good and bad for you. The voice appears frequently and it’s pretty loud, but you’re doing all you can to stuff it down. This is a good sign that your date probably isn’t the right one.
  8. You’re with them out of convenience. Maybe you just met this person in a place you frequent like work or the gym. They’re around, so they’re easy to be with. If you’re just with them out of convenience, you don’t feel so hot about them. Perhaps you don’t even realize how much you’re just using this person because they’re easy.
  9. You don’t make them a top priority. You have someone in your life that you’re dating, but they regularly don’t make it to the top of your list. Your partner isn’t a priority to you and this shows. You can go for a little while acting this way, but eventually, they’re going to catch on or get sick of it. They’ll realize that you aren’t actually all that interested in them after all.
  10. You feel like you’re settling. You can’t shake this feeling that this person isn’t the right one for you. Most likely, there are ways they can’t meet your needs. They fall short in certain categories and just aren’t the right person for you. Still, you find yourself with them anyway. You don’t totally like them if you know in your heart that you’re settling for less.
Ginelle Testa's an avid wordsmith. She's a queer gal whose passions include recovery/sobriety, social justice, body positivity, and intersectional feminism. In the rare moments she isn't writing, you can find her holding her own in a recreational street hockey league, thrifting eclectic attire, and imperfectly practicing Buddhism. Follow her on Insta!