10 Signs You Need Space From Your Relationship To Figure Things Out

You’re not a bad person for requesting a bit of space in your relationship. In fact, sometimes it’s really important and necessary to help you figure things out. Here’s how you know it’s time to take a little breather.

  1. You want to bite your partner’s head off. Maybe you’ve been a little too close for comfort with your partner lately (thanks, lockdown). You’re getting on each other’s nerves and you fear that explosive fights are on the cards. Take some time away to breathe, regroup with your feelings and thoughts, and see what’s really bothering you.
  2. You feel like they know too much. Do you ever feel like your partner knows you better than you know yourself? Yeah, it’s great but after a while, it can also feel like things are becoming boring. When you have some time apart, you can focus on doing activities and hobbies you love doing, and this will recharge your enthusiasm for all things, including your relationship.
  3. You always consult with your partner first. While it’s great to have a partner you can confide in about your thoughts and decisions, you should never go to them without first thinking about what you want. If you’re erasing your needs and thoughts for what they think, that’s a bad sign you’re becoming a relationship robot. It’s time to focus on yourself for a bit.
  4. You know what they’re going to say. When you spend so much time with your partner that you know exactly what they’re going to say before they even say it, that’s a sign that things are becoming a tad too predictable. Take a bit of space away from the relationship so that you can return with some awesome stories and have a catch-up session that actually interests you for a change.
  5. You’re being taken for granted. It’s normal for people to become a little too used to each other when they’ve been dating for a long time. But if you feel like your partner hardly even appreciates or sees you anymore, it’s time to let them miss you a bit. This isn’t about being manipulative but just stepping back and letting them see that you’re not always in their grill and allowing them to figure out what they feel for you when you’re not there. Ditto for you.
  6. You can’t remember when last you were alone. This is a biggie. When last did you actually do something on your own without needing your partner as company? It’s wonderful to spend time alone. It helps you to figure things out, take a breather, and just be alone with your thoughts. No matter how great your relationship is, you should always set aside some to just be by yourself.
  7. You feel like you can’t breathe. If your partner is a stage-five clinger, chances are you’ll start feeling like your wings have been clipped. Not a good feeling. It can make you feel restless, angry, and suffocated. Head for the exit, at least for a while. Make it clear to your partner that you need to have your own space every now and then without feeling like the relationship is holding you back from things you want to do.
  8. You’re missing the single life. Now, just because you’re feeling jelly of your single friends, it doesn’t mean that you want out of the relationship. But it could mean that you need some elements from the life you used to have. Maybe that includes having more time with your friends on the weekend or dedicating more time to achieving your goals that have ended up on the back-burner.
  9. You’re chasing them. If it feels like your partner isn’t as available as they used to be or they keep canceling dates (ugh, so frustrating), take that as a sign that maybe a bit more space in your relationship is a good idea. That said, make sure your ideas of space and how much is enough don’t clash, otherwise, you have a bigger problem on your hands.
  10. You’re a stress ball. If you can’t help but feel stressed out whenever you’re around your partner, that’s not a healthy sign. You need to back up and take some time for yourself. Go away by yourself for the weekend if you can, or just hole yourself up at home and go AWOL emotionally. If your relationship is causing you anxiety and stress, you need to figure out what you really need from it – and if you need it at all.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.