When a new love interest comes into your life who appears to be perfect in every way and exactly what you’ve been looking for, it’s hard not to get excited about them. However, it’s possible you’re seeing them through rose-colored glasses and making them out to be better than they really are. Here’s how you know you’re guilty of putting the object of your affection on a pedestal.
You can’t fault them in any way.
Firstly, the very definition of “putting someone on a pedestal” is to admire or love someone so much that you believe they have no faults. If you’re adamant that your latest beau is flawless and they can’t put a foot wrong in any way, this should be your first big red flag.
You let your feelings get carried away with you.
How long have you guys been together? If it’s not too long at all and you’re already head over heels for them, you might want to slow your love train down a little. After all, you should spend time getting to know someone before you let yourself fall hard.
You rush into big relationship milestones.
If you’re letting your feelings run away with you, you might also be constantly rushing the next steps in a relationship before you’re both truly ready. For instance, this could be anything from making it Facebook official, letting your other half meet your parents, or moving in together. Three words: proceed with caution.
You let them call the shots.
Anybody who’s guilty of putting a partner on a pedestal will let them effectively run the relationship with very little pushback. This is because you’ll be terrified of upsetting them or causing conflict in any way. From choosing your next date venue to identifying what to have for dinner, they’re likely to make all the decisions in the relationship and you’re happy to allow it even if you secretly don’t agree.
You let them walk all over you.
Because your S.O. calls all the shots, perhaps you’ve become somewhat of a pushover when it comes to disagreements. They always have to be right and “win” arguments because you just want to please them, and this isn’t exactly healthy.
It feels like the end of the world when you argue.
It doesn’t happen often due to the fact that you’re happy for them to take the lead. That said, when you guys do argue, you tend to catastrophize the situation. Your emotions will be sky-high, you’ll have the blues for days and you’ll struggle to move on even when the argument is over.
You’re very dependent on them.
Those who see their partner as superior may also struggle to let them have a life outside of the relationship. Even if you do allow them to prioritize their friends and family as well as you, maybe you’re not exactly feeling OK about it. For example, a simple conversation about what you’re both doing at the weekend is likely to go very south very quickly if they’ve made other plans that don’t involve you.
Their problems become your problems.
You’re so entangled in each other’s lives that your partner’s problems become your problems whether they’re big or small. Why? Well, because you’re not happy unless they’re involving you in every aspect of their life—and you know everything that’s going on.
You’re constantly worried they’re going to leave you or your relationship will end.
If you believe your other half is better than you or above you, you’re likely to have confidence issues and struggle to feel secure in a relationship. In fact, you may overanalyze certain situations because you genuinely believe you’re not as “good” as them, or you’re not as “attractive” as them, or you’re not as “smart” as them. Either way, this is no way to live. It’s time to start being kinder to yourself.
You need constant communication to feel reassured.
Finally, you know you put your partner on a pedestal if you always push to see them regularly or talk to them more often than not—whether this is via FaceTime, voice notes, or WhatsApp messages. It’s easier said than done, but try to remember that it’s the twenty-first century. We’re all equals in relationships. If you’re genuinely convinced you don’t rival your S.O. and/or they’re letting you believe it, it might be time to come to a realization that you’re with the wrong person. The sooner you get out of that toxic bubble, the better.
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