Once a relationship ends, you might be left with a mix of emotions no matter how good things were at the beginning (or even for most) of your time together. Sometimes it can be hard to figure out if what you had was real love or if it was all a facade. Here are a few signs that the feelings that you had may have been less than genuine and you were never really in love.
You’re not tempted to contact them.
After a breakup, it can be really difficult to sever all communication with your ex, but sometimes (read: most of the time), that can be the best thing for you. You might have a lot of urges at first to call or text your ex or even to creep on their social media to find out what they’ve been up to. If you have an easier time than you thought letting go of that person that you’ve had with other relationships, your feelings for them may not have been as strong as you thought they were.
You don’t think about them very much.
When you truly love someone, there’s no denying that they’re going to be on your mind. You’ll be thinking about them throughout the day as you’re going about your normal tasks and whenever you’re apart, they’ll always just be in the back of your mind, even if only a little bit. If you find that you’re thinking about them very little or not at all, it’s quite possible that you weren’t really in love with them.
You don’t miss what you had with them.
If =m once the relationship is over, you find that you aren’t missing what you had with your partner, that could be a red flag that it wasn’t real love. If you were truly in love with that person, there would be a lot of things about your relationship you would miss and mourn the loss of. If this doesn’t happen to you, it might have just been infatuation.
You had a hard time committing to them.
If you had difficulty being exclusive with them or even just making any long-term commitments or plans with them, it’s possible that you never really loved them, at least not romantically. When you love someone, it’s almost impossible not to fantasize about your future with them and to get excited about all of the things you could do and experience with them. If you always had trouble being comfortable with the idea of forever with them, you probably weren’t really in love with them.
You didn’t open up to each other emotionally.
Love is so much more than physical attraction and fun dates. True love is sharing your feelings and emotions with your partner and really opening up and being vulnerable with them. If you had a hard time sharing those intimate feelings with your partner either because you didn’t trust them or you just felt like they wouldn’t understand you, that’s a big sign that you may not have been in love with them like you thought you were.
You wondered what else was out there.
If you never really deleted your dating apps or even just wondered what else was out there and if there was someone else out there that would be a better match for you, that is a sign that you weren’t really in love with your partner. When you’re really in love with someone, you don’t even notice anyone else around you. You are so enamored with that person that the rest of the world just fades away. If there was a part of you that secretly wondered if you would rather be dating someone while you were in that relationship, it wasn’t true love.
You had no desire to confront issues in your relationship.
All relationships have problems, even really amazing ones. The existence of problems in a relationship isn’t what determines its strengths and weaknesses, it’s the way the couple handles those problems. If you aren’t afraid to confront your partner about the issues that you’re having because you know that you want to fix the problem, it shows how much you care. If you are afraid to voice your concerns to your partner or just have no desire to work through your problems, it’s a sign that the feelings that exist in your relationship aren’t feelings of real love.
The affection felt forced.
If you had trouble being affectionate with your partner whether it was because you weren’t physically attracted to them or because something just didn’t feel right in your relationship, it’s a pretty good sign that you weren’t really in love with them. Physical affection and attention are some of the ways that we show love to our partners and the desire to touch and hold them should come naturally. If you find yourself not wanting to be affectionate with your partner, that’s a red flag.
You felt relief when the relationship ended.
Even if you weren’t the one who instigated the breakup, if you find yourself feeling relieved afterward that the relationship is over, it’s pretty safe to say that you were never really in love, even if you thought you were. If you feel relief when it’s over, it means there was a part of you that really didn’t want the relationship. It’s possible that you were trying to force a love that didn’t exist. You might feel relief afterward because it means that you longer have to pretend.
You feel like a weight is off your shoulders now.
If you feel free and at ease, after the relationship ends, it’s a sure sign that you were never in love. Relationships that are based on real love can sometimes end and when they do, the recovery process is very difficult. If you feel like a weight has been lifted off of you, it means that keeping up the relationship was a lot of work for you and you can now breathe a sigh of relief knowing that the struggle is over.
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