Here’s a secret: dating is kind of awful. Wait, that’s probably not much of a secret, huh? Even the most seasoned daters among us reach a point where we’re pretty much sick and tired of being a player in the never-ending game of love. After one too many dates where there’s nothing to talk about or, worse, the guy sitting across from us never shuts up, we start to wonder if every fairy tale and Lifetime movie is a lie and we really will end up alone.
We never know what the future holds, of course, which is why we keep dating thanks to that annoying thing called optimism. One thing’s for sure: go on enough dates, and you can tell which ones are bad by the words that come out of your mouth. Here are the 10 things you should never have to say on a date. If you do, a second one’s definitely not in the cards.
- “I’m tired.” This is the kiss of death when it comes to a first date. The hidden secret of being a so-called adult woman? You’re basically always tired. You work hard, you fit your busy social lives into your already packed schedule, and now you’re meeting him at a bar on a Friday night when you’d probably rather be all cozy on the couch at home. So if you have to verbalize your exhaustion, there are two things he should know: he’s boring, and you’re never going to see him again.
- “I have to wake up early to work tomorrow.” A few facts: you’re going to sleep in, because it’s the weekend and that’s what you wait all week for. And you’re not going to work tomorrow because it’s a Sunday. Wait, did he actually believe you? Hopefully he could tell this was a nice way of saying you didn’t have fun and he won’t text you tomorrow asking you out again.
- “That’s pretty rude.” Thankfully, you’ve long gotten over the idea that women have to look pretty and be nice and polite 100 percent of the time. How boring is that? But given all that social progress, you still don’t want to have to tell a guy that he’s offending you on a date. Unfortunately, you probably say this more often that you’d like, because the number of offensive things that guys say to women on a daily basis is unfortunately way too high. Like that time a guy made fun of the neighborhood that you live in (why???) and the other time a guy hugged you hello and then made fun of you for being short. Good memories.
- “I’ll get this one.” It may be 2015, but some good old-fashioned chivalry is pretty nice once in a while, or at least when it comes to a guy paying for your first date drinks. You should definitely at least offer to pay – it’s just the right thing to do – but it’s a good sign if he insists on taking care of the bill this time. If he makes you pay for him, however, that’s definitely a bad sign.
- “I go on a lot of dates.” When will guys figure out that no, you don’t actually want to discus your dating history on a first date – or even a second or third? That stuff is personal and you want to figure out if he can even hold a proper conversation before you reveal your romantic past. I’ll never understand why one guy spent half an hour explaining to me that he dates all the time “just to meet different people” while asking me how often I date, not to mention whether I want to get married. Sorry, dude, I just met you an hour ago.
- “So, this weather…” Weather is the definition of dull small talk and it’s reserved for that friendly Starbucks barista or the receptionist at your doctor’s office, not for dates. Wow, you two really have zero to talk about. Check, please.
- “I have tons of family drama.” Of course you do. We all do, if we’re being completely honest. But maybe keep how mad your aunt or cousin is under wraps, at least for now. It’s a bit early to let someone know how much you’re totally dreading your sister’s birthday party this coming weekend.
- “Yeah, your ex sounds awful.” Hasn’t he figured out by now that talking about his exes on a first date (or second, or third) is just a horrible idea? You never want your date to mention his ex-girlfriend. Ever.
- “Work sucks.” Leave the complaining for later – it’s just not attractive. You would be totally turned off if your date whined about his own job, right? So don’t do the same thing.
- Nothing, because he won’t shut up. We’ve all been on that super boring date when the guy just won’t stop talking. You can’t even get a word in and forget about him asking you questions about yourself. He doesn’t want to try to get to know you, he just wants to talk (brag) about himself. Yeah, he’s not getting a second date.