When you get into a relationship, you want a partner that’s you’re equal. It’s nice to be able to take care of someone, but there’s a definite line there that should never be crossed. You’ve probably heard of Peter Pan syndrome before, but how do you know if you’re actually in the situation yourself? Here are a few signs that your guy has gotten a little too comfortable with acting like a man-child instead of a man and really needs to grow up.
- He expects you to always clean up after him. Whenever you start living with a partner, it can definitely involve a lot of compromises and even some disagreement as the usual situation is that one person is a lot neater than the other. The thing is though, if your partner views you as his equal and not his mother or maid, he’ll take on his fair share of the cleaning and organizing. All of the responsibilities of running a household shouldn’t just fall on you, and if it gets to the point where your guy just expects you to take on all the cleaning, it’s time to have a discussion with him about it.
- He doesn’t eat until you’ve cooked for him. Another sign that your guy has gotten a little too comfortable with your coddling is if he always expects you to cook meals for the two of you and never thinks to take the reins himself. You might not mind cooking or you might even enjoy it, however, it shouldn’t be on you to feed the household every single day. If your boyfriend never offers to cook or complains if you don’t have dinner on the table every night, he’s gotten a little too comfortable with your generosity.
- He expects you to make all of his appointments for him. This one can be tricky because you might genuinely be one of those people who like to get things done ahead of time and keep everything in order. However, if your partner puts things off for so long to the point where you have to call and make all of their appointments for him, he relies on you for far too much. He’s an adult and should be able to call in doctor’s appointments for himself and remember to go get his own car inspected. He can’t count on you to do everything for him.
- You’re constantly nagging him to get stuff done. If you find yourself constantly having to nag and bug your guy about getting tasks done like mowing the lawn or taking out the trash, you’ve definitely taken on the role of the mother nagging her child to do chores. We’ve all been there once or twice, but if it’s a constant issue, it could really start to damage your relationship. The best thing to do is to let your partner know that he needs to put in his fair share of the work without having to always be asked if he cares about your home and your life together.
- He’s irresponsible with money and resources. Another common happening in relationships is that one person will be more frivolous than the other. If your partner is constantly blowing money on silly or unimportant things and neglecting actual things you need to pay for like bills and putting money back into savings, you need to have a discussion with them about focusing on the future and what’s important. Parents are always stressing to their children about the importance of saving and purchasing mindfully. You shouldn’t have to explain that to your adult partner.
- He counts on you to remember important dates. It is not on you to always remind your guy when your anniversary is or when his parents’ birthdays are. Some people don’t always remember dates but there are these things called calendars and if he needs to invest in one, so be it. It’s not fair for you to have to always be the one to remember everything.
- He complains about commitments. If you’re constantly having to nag and coerce your guy into going to family events and social gatherings, that’s a sign that you’re babying him too much. We all have weekends where we don’t want to see anyone or do anything, but there are times when we make commitments to things and we need to follow through for people. If it feels like you have to persuade and beg them to get up and just go to things, he’s gotten too comfortable with the nagging and needs to learn to do things without being asked.
- He can’t make up his mind about the future. If your guy seems to be really indecisive about the future with you, it could mean a lot of different things. One of those things could be that he’s terrified of having to grow up. Planning out a future together, talking about things like marriage and growing a family, buying a house, cars, etc. requires responsibility and hard work. If your guy is suffering from Peter Pan syndrome, it’s a definite possibility that he’s been skirting around the topic for a while.
- He dreads the topic of having children. Another topic he might be avoiding discussing with you could be the subject of children. Having children is another life decision that requires a lot of planning, thought, work, and growing up as well. If your man just doesn’t seem comfortable talking about it at all or even gets hostile if you bring it up, it could be because he still wants you to take care of him instead of having to take care of someone else.
- He gets angry when you try to confront him about it. Overall, the biggest sign of immaturity is when a guy completely shuts down when you try to confront him about it. People that need to grow up and know that they need to grow up don’t want to have to face the facts and they certainly don’t want someone they love to point it out to them. The thing is though, if he really loves you and values your relationship, he’ll do what he needs to do to better your relationship. Have a conversation with him, no matter how awkward it is, and tell him how you feel. He’ll make the changes he needs to make to keep you and if he doesn’t, it’s time to go out and find a boy who’s already become a man.
