10 Signs You’re Holding Back From Falling In Love

10 Signs You’re Holding Back From Falling In Love ©iStock/MaleWitch

They call it “falling in love” for a reason — you have to be able to let go of control and allow it to happen. No one’s saying falling in love isn’t scary, but it’s usually worth all the anxiety, the uncertainties, and opening yourself up to the possibility of getting hurt. Think about how much you’ll gain instead of everything that could go wrong. If you don’t try, you’ll end up alone, wondering what would have happened if you’d given yourself permission to let go.

  1. You won’t commit. Even if you’ve been seeing someone for awhile, you just can’t bring yourself to call yourself their girlfriend. You also never want to make any big plans too far into the future, and meeting their parents is completely out of the question.
  2. You make up excuses. You’re not quite over your ex. You’re too busy with work to deal with a serious relationship. He’s blonde, and you always thought you’d end up with a dark haired guy. Whatever it is, it’s never actually as important as you make it out to be.
  3. You push people away. If you don’t let anyone get too close, you’ll never have to worry about getting attached. Eventually they notice you’re keeping them at arm’s length, but trying to get you to open up emotionally is such a chore that they end up moving on to someone else.
  4. You’re inflexible. You aren’t interested in making compromises for a relationship, so any time you come to a roadblock, you hit the eject button. You’re probably so stubborn that you see falling in love as more of a weakness than something you might actually want to happen.
  5. You’re always comparing your present to your past. Maybe you think you’re never going to find someone like a certain ex, so you don’t even want to try. It’s true, you won’t find the same thing you had before, but that doesn’t something a little different can’t be even better.
  6. You choose the wrong guys. You don’t want to risk actually falling for one of them, so you date guys you’re never really that into. Either that or you pine after the players, the free spirits, and the unavailable guys because you know that a real relationship will never be an option with them.
  7. You sabotage your relationships. If something seems to be going too well, you’ll find some way to derail it. Maybe you’ll start picking petty fights, or start pulling away and acting distant. Whatever you do, it’s to get them to decide you aren’t worth it and walk away before you have to make that decision yourself.
  8. You work hard to keep things casual. You’ll never make plans too far in advance, avoid anything that feels too much like a date, and strongly encourage, and often initiate, booty calls. Even if he’s trying to take things to the next level, you pretend not to notice and basically just treat him like a friends with benefits until he takes the hint.
  9. You act like you don’t care. If you act like you don’t give a damn, eventually you genuinely won’t give a damn. At least that’s your theory and subsequent game plan if you ever do start to catch feelings for someone.
  10. You have too many dealbreakers. There are so many things that disqualify a guy from being with you that there probably aren’t any living, straight, single men within your designated dating vicinity that will make it past your screening system. If one does manage to squeak through though, you’re confident you can find something that doesn’t meet your ridiculous standards.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.