10 Signs You’re Not Actually In a Relationship Like You Think You Are

Whether you’re in a committed relationship or just starting out, being on the same page with your partner is essential. So how do you know if there’s a miscommunication on the status of your relationship? These 10 signs mean you’re probably in totally different places:

  1. Only one of you talks about the future. Most invested couples have had some sort of conversation pertaining to a shared future. If you’re not both excited about the prospect of spending your lives together, then only one of you is interested in commitment, while the other is only in it for a good time.
  2. Only one of you checks in. You may not hang out every night, but do you check in with each other when you’re not together? Serious couples stay in touch even when they spend time apart. If only one of you is making sure the other is alive and OK, then only one of you really cares.
  3. Only one of you misses the other. If you miss him when you’re away from your partner, hopefully he’s in the same boat. But what if you’re sailing solo? Is he constantly plaguing your inbox with “I miss you” texts while you’re perfectly content with his absence? You should both be missing each other, or else one of you is missing the casual status of your relationship.
  4. Only one of you gets jealous. Under the right circumstances, a reasonable amount of jealously can actually be a good thing. If one of you wants to be exclusive while the other wouldn’t care if you hooked up with someone else right in front of them, then your feelings are seriously uneven.
  5. Only one of you makes plans. Are you always the one calling him to schedule your next date, or is he the sole planner of your little get-togethers? The ideal would be for both to put in an effort to make plans, but if only one of you is desperate for some quality time, then you should probably talk about the status of your “relationship.”
  6. Only one of you attempts romance. It’s not just about who plans the dates, it’s about what the “date” actually entails. When he requests your company, is he aiming for a physical connection while you’re searching for an emotional one? It’s no fun being the booty call when you were planning on an actual date.
  7. Only one of you invests in communication. What do the two of you talk about? Is one party trying to indulge in serious conversation while the other is only interested in playful pillow talk? If you’re both serious, then you’ll both make an effort to get to know each other inside and out.
  8. Only one of you wants to meet the friends and family. Introducing your new relationship to your friends and family is a pretty big step. If one of you is halting this meet and greet while the other desires to bring the relationship into every aspect of your life, then you seriously need to clarify your intentions.
  9. Only one of you cares about the fights. In a relationship, you should always care about how the other person feels. So if you’re fighting and only one of you is invested in finding a resolution, that’s a clear sign that one partner wouldn’t care if the relationship doesn’t work out.
  10. One of you is always asking how the other feels. In a relationship, both parties should be able to tell how the other feels about them. Uncertainty is the result of mixed signals. Make your feelings known and if you can’t figure out your partner’s then plain and simple, you’re just not on the same page.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.
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