10 Signs You’re Not Ready To Live Together Yet

You’re in a relationship and you’re blissfully happy, so it seems like the next natural step is moving in together. This is a massive commitment that will have a huge impact on both of your lives and you need to be sure you’re ready for it. If you relate to any of the following points, you’re definitely not.

  1. You’re still in the honeymoon phase. You’re madly in love and both want to spend every second of every day together, so surely the best way to do this is to move in together, right? That’s a lovely thought, but we all know how short-sighted we can be at the beginning of a new relationship. Give things time to grow with no pressure and no boring questions about whose turn it is to do the dishes. You’ll be glad you did.
  2. You haven’t spent long, uninterrupted periods of time together before. If you’re the type of couple that values alone time or you both have super busy schedules and therefore find it hard to find time to spend together consistently, moving in together might not be the best idea. Living under the same roof 24/7 means you’ll see every bad habit, strange quirk, and weird tradition that your partner has. It’s important to get some exposure to these things before you take the leap to ensure that you’ll actually be able to live with them!
  3. You’re worried about boundaries being respected. Are you and your partner completely different when it comes to boundaries? If you want to spend every second together but your partner likes to stick to strict schedules when it comes to quality time (or vice versa), this is a conversation you need to have before you move in. Boundaries are especially important when you’re sharing a living space, so make sure these are well-established and set before you make such an important decision.
  4. You’re feeling pressured. There are many brilliant reasons to move in with your loved one, but doing it to make them happy or because you’re sick of being asked about it isn’t one of them. If you feel pressured to move in together, this means you’re not ready to make such a large commitment yet. If you need more time to make the decision, let your partner know.
  5. You both want different things from the future. If you’re even thinking of living together, you need to have a conversation about your future as a couple. Is your partner ready to get married and have kids in the next five years while you’re content with growing your career first? Or, does your partner not believe in marriage at all, leaving you with a dilemma on your hands? These are all things you need to establish before you live together.
  6. You think it will fix the problems you’re having. You should never, ever move in with each other as a relationship fix. If you’re noticing problems in your relationship, living together will only exaggerate these, leaving you both much worse off down the line. Relationships take nurturing, and taking such a risk may be the worst decision for you both.
  7. You’re doing it because it’s convenient. Whether it’s financially easier, their place is close to your work, or you’re just sick of living with a roommate, moving in with someone because of convenience is a bad idea. You should be really excited about your decision and enthusiastic about planning your future together when you make this decision with your partner. If these feelings are missing, it may be too soon.
  8. You’re not 100% comfortable with each other yet. When you live with someone, they see you at your absolute worst—early in the morning, while you’re suffering from food poisoning, and during your weekly mustache bleach. If you’re not comfortable being a bit disgusting every now and then around your partner, you’re not ready to live together.
  9. You don’t know each other’s friends. When you move in with someone, you have to be prepared to spend time with their loved ones. If you’ve not had much experience with your partner’s friends yet (or even worse, if you don’t like them), you may want to consider that they’ll be in your space every now and then. Get to know your partner’s friends to make sure you can stand their company before you live together.
  10. It all feels a bit too soon. Do none of the above points apply to you but you still just can’t shake the feeling that it’s all a bit too soon? It’s important to trust your instincts here. You have plenty of time to get to know each other and really feel comfortable before you make such a move. Enjoy your time together and don’t rush. You have the rest of your lives to live together, so make sure it’s the right decision for you.
Writer, reader, runner.

Marketing strategist and journalism graduate.