10 Signs You’re Starting To Lose Yourself In Your Relationship

10 Signs You’re Starting To Lose Yourself In Your Relationship ©iStock/pixelfit

The intoxicating feelings of falling in love are too much for some people. They intoxicate themselves right into becoming a blob with another person. Boundaries, lives, and personalities are blurred and the individual person is lost. Here are 10 signs you’re on your way to losing yourself in your relationship–if you haven’t already.

  1. You’ve stopped spending time with your friends and loved ones.Friends, family, and coworkers used to be big parts of your life. A night out for drinks, girl’s dinners, and time spent with your family were all things you cherished. It’s not that you stopped loving these people, you’ve simply been swallowed up by spending all of your time with your partner. This is a sure sign that you’re losing your individuality in the partnership.
  2. You’ve lost sight of your hobbies and passions.You used to make art, play in recreational sports league, or spend tons of time outdoors. You had hobbies and passions that made you come alive, but you’ve recently stopped partaking in them. You spend so much time with your partner that you don’t leave any time for yourself. You don’t even remember what it’s like to paint or play soccer.
  3. You no longer have “me” time.Self-care used to be a crucial part of your routine, especially when you were single. You were the best at pampering yourself and putting yourself first. Unfortunately that’s no longer the case. It’s not that your partner is controlling or anything, you’ve just let your self-care routines slip through the cracks because you want to be a huge part of your partner’s life. You’ve forgotten all about your self-care.
  4. You feel more like a relationship blob than your own person.In the early stages of being with your lover, you were psyched about getting to know each other and building a relationship. There were certain things you adored about one another, but you’ve since become this sort of amorphous couple, uncertain of where your partner ends and you begin. This is a part of losing yourself because you’re blurring together into one blob.
  5. You’ve forgotten what boundaries are entirely.As a result of this amorphous blobby-ness, you’ve lost sight of boundaries entirely. You rarely find yourself saying “no” or drawing lines in the sand when you definitely should. Your partner’s needs and your own have morphed together, so you wouldn’t even really be sure of what you’d needed if you wanted to be.
  6. Your self-confidence is starting to slip.When you met your partner, you were a super confident woman. You knew who you were, what you wanted, and what your dislikes were. Since you’ve begun to lose yourself in your partner, your self-confidence has also dissipated. If the two of you broke up, it’d take quite the effort to build yourself back up because of how low it is. This contributes to feeling trapped in the relationship.
  7. You aren’t sure what’s best for you anymore.There was a time when you were an assured woman. You knew what was best for you and how to achieve it. Since slipping into this relationship blob, you aren’t sure anymore what’s best for yourself. Instead, you find yourself putting your partner’s needs before your own and always considering the relationship first, even if you’re harmed in the process and your needs aren’t met.
  8. You seek constant approval from your partner.Since you’re feeling uncertain about what to do in your life, you look to your partner for the answers. They’ve become another driver for your life, guiding you in making decisions that you really should be making on your own. If there’s s decision you do want to make on your own, you still feel the need to pick up the phone and ask them first.
  9. You’re compromising too much.At this point, you’re not seeing your friends, you’re not partaking in the activities you adore, and your partner has too much agency in your life. You’ve lost much of what makes you who you are. Relationships are about compromise, but you’re giving everything you have. Your sense of self has dissolved away.
  10. You desperately dream about being single again.Although you love your partner, you can’t help but continue to dream about what your life would be like without them. You know you’d have a chance at becoming you again, but this prospect terrifies you because you’re both so cozy in the relationship. Nonetheless, you can’t help but find yourself dreaming of running away to start a new life where you can have all of what makes you who you are back.
Ginelle has been writing professionally for more than six years and has a bachelor’s degree in digital marketing & design. Her writing has appeared on Birdie, Thought Catalog, Tiny Buddha and more. You can follow her on Instagram @ginelletesta, via her Facebook page, or through her website at ginelletesta.com.