10 Situations Where You Should Definitely Make The First Move

Sometimes it’s super obvious when someone likes you and you have no problem moving things along, but other times, you’re afraid of rejection. That’s normal, but you don’t always have to sit back and wait for things to start happening in your love life. Here are 10 situations where you should definitely make the first move:

  1. You never send the first message on dating apps. If this is you, you have to ask yourself a super important question: why? It doesn’t matter if Tinder or OkCupid or Bumble is your online dating poison. You’re going to get so many more dates and actually have a better chance of meeting someone legit if you send the first message.
  2. You’re chatting with a guy online and things are going well but he hasn’t asked you out yet. There’s a good chance that if you’ve been chatting with someone online for an hour or so, he wants to meet you in person. Sure, there are some guys who want nothing more than a pen pal, but for the most part, he wants a date. Instead of waiting for him to get the hint that he should ask you for a beer, why not make the first move? You have nothing to lose and possibly everything to gain.
  3. You’ve been flirting back and forth with him since forever. Whether this is a male coworker or a friend of a friend, you know that you like each other. It’s obvious to everyone else too. You might as well see if things can be more than platonic instead of wasting your time flirting with no clue if anything will ever happen.
  4. You heard that your guy friend likes you. Just because he hasn’t told you doesn’t mean that it’s not true. He might be afraid of hearing that you just want to be friends (and he has good reason to be since that could happen). If you return his feelings, you have no reason not to ask him out yourself. A lot of relationships start out as friendships and at least you already know him.
  5. You want to get back with your ex-boyfriend. Technically this would be the second move, but it still counts because you would still be putting your heart on the line and taking a massive risk. When you realize that you regret ending a relationship and you think that you should give things another go, you definitely should tell the guy. Who knows? He might miss you just as much.
  6. You can’t stop thinking about him. When someone is on your mind 24/7 and you can’t get them out of your head, there’s a good reason. All signs are pointing to the fact that you should totally ask them out. After all, if you like them, they’re probably worthy of your time and effort.
  7. You hit it off with someone at a party. There’s nothing wrong with sending a guy a Facebook message saying you enjoyed meeting him and wanted to know if he wants to grab a coffee sometime. The worst thing that can happen is he says no. No big deal, right?
  8. You spot your dream guy in a crowded bar. While it’s no secret that most people aren’t meeting IRL these days, that doesn’t mean that you can’t. If you’re grabbing drinks with your BFFs on a Friday night and see the cutest guy sitting nearby, why not make the first move? He might have noticed you too and have been too shy to walk up to you.
  9. You see the same guy everywhere. Is there a cute guy that you see around your neighborhood all the time? Maybe you both grab Sunday brunch with your friends at the same place, you frequent the same gym and coffee shop, and you even end up at the same dog park. You might as well ask him if he wants to hang out sometime. Sure, there’s always a chance that he’s got a girlfriend, but there’s also the chance that he’s totally single and would love to get to know you.
  10. You want to take control of your love life. You’re not a passenger in your life. You’ve worked hard to achieve success in your career and other areas of your world. You don’t want to let the years go by without putting any effort into finding love, do you? If you want to take control of your love life, then you definitely need to make the first move. Even if you don’t get a yes, you still won’t be sorry. Because you’ll be one step closer to the right person.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.