10 Struggles Of The Liberated Female

Being a woman who’s comfortable with intimacy and her body is a blessing, but every now and again, it’s also a bit of a curse. Sure, you get to have a ton of fun without worrying about the stigma surrounding women and intimacy, but you also have to deal with these struggles:

  1. Guys assume you’re always down to bang. As a lady who isn’t afraid to let her suggestive colors show, it can be difficult to ward off advances from guys you aren’t interested in. They assume that since you’re so “chill” and “cool” about intimacy that you’re pretty much always in the mood to sleep with someone. Well yeah, you are… just not with them.
  2. Girls feel threatened by your appeal. You pretty much ooze attractiveness, and girls around you get threatened by that. It’s not even that you’re the hottest woman in the room — you just have this confidence that you’re hot, and other people pick up on that. It used to bother you, but now you’ve accepted that some girls are gonna get jealous.
  3. You think that an appropriate conversation starter is asking about someone’s kinks. You can tell a lot about a person by what they’re into, but you’ve discovered that not everyone is as excited to share this information as you are. You don’t judge people for their likes and fantasies — in fact, you think it’s interesting and cool. Unfortunately, people get weirded out when you bring it up, so you’ve stopped doing it.
  4. You spend mad money on toys for the bedroom. Toys, protection, costumes, you want it all. And you buy it all. And now you’re broke. Some girls collect mass numbers of shoes — you collect mass numbers of toys.
  5. You accidentally start talking about your intimate life in front of your parents. You’re so used to telling your friends about your crazy intimate life, you accidentally start casually talking about it to your parents or even worse — your grandparents. You instantly start back-peddling and say that it was actually your friend, but then you think “screw it” and bust out a feminist, intimacy-positive rant.
  6. You don’t have a lot of girlfriends. You find that a lot of girls low-key judge you for being driven when it comes to intimacy, so you have trouble maintaining female friendships. However, you probably have a lot of guy friends who understand your high level of passion and promiscuous ways.
  7. You get a lot of noise complaints from your neighbors. When you make love, you go for it. You believe that women should be free to fully express themselves during intimacy and won’t hold back your screams for anyone. Unfortunately, you’ve received multiple noise complaints from your neighbors, and now you’re kind of afraid the cops might get involved.
  8. You feel limited when you’re in a committed relationship. You find it hard to stick with just one partner. Since you pretty much want it 24/7, it isn’t fair to expect your partner to always be gung-ho to go at the snap of your fingers. You obviously love this person, but find yourself fantasizing about sleeping with someone else. It can make you feel eternally dissatisfied with whoever you’re with.
  9. People think you’ll sleep with just about anyone. You have the reputation of being “free”, so some people will classify you as promiscuous. You want to tell them that just because you have no shame in intimacy, doesn’t mean you’ll give it away to anyone. If anything, you respect yourself even more than people who sleep around, because for you, intimacy is important and you only want to do it with the best people.
  10. It’s hard to find a partner who’s on your level. You find yourself always on the lookout for that perfect partner who will let you do whatever you want in bed without getting judged. You want someone who gets just as excited as you do about trying new positions or slipping on a hot costume for some role play. Once you’ve found this person, you know you’ve hit the jackpot.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.