10 Struggles Of Women Who Aren’t Stereotypically Romantic

10 Struggles Of Women Who Aren’t Stereotypically Romantic ©iStock/a-wrangler

Stereotypical romance is definitely not for everyone. It pretty heavily focuses on words, gifts, and over the top gestures, and a lot of women would prefer to express their feelings in other ways. They’re not anti-love, just against all the sappy stuff that can go along with it. If you’re one of the many women who’s not into the rom-com brand of romance, you can probably relate to these 10 struggles.

  1. People assume that you’re “damaged.” People think that if you’re not into super romantic crap, it must be because you’re damaged from a traumatic break up. They think you must just be afraid to accept love in your life again. The reality is you are actually a huge fan of love, you just don’t want random flower bouquets showing up at your office and surprise bubble baths drawn when you had other things in mind to do with your evening. There’s a difference.
  2. The ways your show love go unnoticed or unappreciated. There are many ways that people show and express love, and none of them are necessarily any better than the others. You might not be into lovey-dovey talk or expensive gift exchanging, but maybe you show love by rocking his world in the bedroom or hanging out with him when he’s feeling blue. Sometimes you feel like yelling, “I’m doing this because I love you!” because he can totally miss the point.
  3. You get embarrassed by grand romantic gestures. You absolutely do not want him to rent a harp player, cover your expensive sheets with rose pedals, make a speech about loving you to everyone in the bar, or ask you to marry him on the megatron at a baseball game. These types of things make you feel embarrassed and uncomfortable, and you hate how you somehow get labeled as the bad guy after these stunts don’t go over well, even though he should know you better by now.
  4. You giggle at the worst times. You can’t help but giggle when a man is in the middle of pouring out his heart to you in the most vulnerable way. You don’t want to be a jerk, but you can’t help it when he’s saying something ridiculous like comparing your hair to silk. It’s just a blow out, dude. Calm down.
  5. You’ve been called cold or heartless. You have feelings just like everyone else, you just express them differently. People think you’re being heartless when you don’t appreciate the crummy love song your boyfriend wrote you, but it’s not mean if he should know that you wouldn’t be into that. It’s not ridiculous to expect your partner to know you well and understand what makes you happy, and you don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not.
  6. Men assume they can coast in your relationship. Sure, you don’t care about certain romantic things, but that doesn’t mean you have no cares at all. You still expect your guy to put some effort in, even if that effort doesn’t involve writing haikus or having professional photos taken at the beach in matching white tops.
  7. Romcoms disgust you. Is anyone capable of writing a relatable female lead? Falling in love isn’t about ice cream and tears and being saved from your current life, it’s about finding someone who is your equal to be your partner in life. When friends want to drag you to whatever garbage romance movie is playing currently, you generally only agree if it’s in one of those theatres that also has booze.
  8. You get accused of “trying to be one of the guys.” Not digging sappy romance doesn’t take away from your womanhood at all. Not only are you just trying to be yourself, but some men actually like romance too! Some people don’t understand that this interest is totally not gender specific.
  9. Holidays are the worst. You have no interest in making reservations a month in advance to overpay for a pre fixe menu ending with a heart shaped dessert. And instead of receiving opulent gifts, you’d rather take a trip or go to a concert. You wish everyone could just cool it around big holidays and stop jamming giant love gestures down each other’s throats several times a year. It puts a lot of pressure on one day, and you’d rather spread the love out more evenly over the year.
  10. You’re expected to spell out everything that’s important to you. Some men can be kind of clueless about what is important to women when it’s not the stereotypical stuff. Like if you don’t want roses and chocolates, what the hell do you want? It’s annoying that some guys can’t just figure it out, especially when it seems so obvious to you, but at least he’s learning something about how stereotypes are BS.
Holly Harris is a freelance writer, full time student, and mommy to a toddler sass monster. In her (nearly nonexistent) free time, you can find her lifting something heavy in her home gym or chugging vodka sodas with friends. She contributes to several other sites, including Elite Daily.