10 Subtle Signs He Wants To Break Up With You ASAP

This is the article that no one wants to read much less write, but sometimes it helps to see the signs that a guy wants to break up with you so that you aren’t totally blindsided by being dumped. You don’t get better at dealing with these feelings over time, but with experience, you can at least know what’s happening in the situation. Brace for impact and read on for more signs he’s about to break your heart.

  1. He doesn’t touch you anymore. This is one of the first things that you notice when it goes. There’s a saying that you need about eight hugs a day to meet the levels of physical contact that bolsters your mental health. Therefore, it figures that the reverse is true, and once physical touch loses its intimacy, you’re in trouble.
  2. He only texts “good morning,” never “goodnight.” This is telling because it shows that he views communicating with you as a chore. It is something to bother with in the morning when you feel a duty to, but something one can ignore in the evening if you are otherwise occupied. It leaves you wondering what he’s doing if not talking to you, and it hurts.
  3. He stops suggesting dates. Of any kind. Date night doesn’t have to break the bank or blow you (figuratively) out of the water every time. However, you do have to make an effort. Once you stop finding time for your partner, they cease to be a priority.
  4. He works late constantly. This is probably one of the biggest signs he wants to break up. Whether this is a euphemism for an affair or just genuinely preferring work over home life, this isn’t a great sign. It’s not just “I got promoted and work is rough.” When you want to, you can find the time. Or, you can communicate your absence and reassure your partner, not just leave them in silence. This sort of person can never be yours.
  5. He starts going out with his mates more. This doesn’t just have to be clubbing or drinking, but the general replacement of your time with theirs is a slippery slope. All relationships should make room for one’s friends, of course. But when he stops spending time with you but spends time with other people all the time, you know you’re the last on his list.
  6. He starts working out more. This might be anxiety, stress, or personal issues, but feeling the burden and guilt of the relationship will spur him to unleash those emotions. Maybe it’s extra hours at the gym or running at unsociable, random hours, but his angst will find an outlet. Rather than talk things out, he is getting ready to run away.
  7. He cuts his hair. Maybe this is his last-ditch attempt at a fresh start; or, more likely, he has his eyes on someone else. Only for them is he willing to jolt himself out of the routine. Maybe it’s a way of distancing himself from the version of him that loved you and recreating his identity. God that was melodramatic, whoops.
  8. He stops putting effort into his appearance. Has he become slobbish and lazy in your presence? Stopped wearing dress shirts and nice shoes on date night? Got stuck in a loop of baggy tops and tracksuits? This could be a sign of his frustration with the relationship. If he isn’t feeling enriched or supported by you, he’ll stop making the effort as well.
  9. He stops posting you. It may seem like a shallow reason, but it’s noticeable. This is particularly worsened if you have communicated with him the importance of posting on Instagram about the relationship before. It shows a waning enthusiasm and a lack of toleration for your whims and personality. In a word: disinterest.
  10. He stops laughing with you. This is the big hitter. You can see from a mile away that he has stopped enjoying quality time with you. Maybe he even avoids it. Not only does he stop laughing, but it actively stresses him out. A reminder of the guilt he carries, but also the cowardice until he actually breaks your heart. No one likes to be strung along, and this is a glaring sign.

I won’t linger on the details too much, because each relationship is different, and a lot of these signs could also be indicators of waning mental health, so take them with a pinch of salt. That said, these aren’t signs to ignore. They say that if you love something, let it go. Don’t hang around in a relationship that’s lost the love. You’re both worth more than that.

Hannah has a Masters degree in Romantic and Victorian literature in Scotland and spends her spare time writing anything from essays to short fiction about the life and times of the frogs in her local pond! She loves musical theatre, football, anything with potatoes, and remains a firm believer that most of the problems in this world can be solved by dancing around the kitchen to ABBA. You can find her on Instagram at @_hannahvic.