10 Terrible Things About Getting Your Period That Are Way Worse Than Cramps

10 Terrible Things About Getting Your Period That Are Way Worse Than Cramps ©iStock/g-stockstudio

The physical pain that periods bring are never any fun. Cramps, headaches, muscle aches, exhaustion… you get the drift. Of course, the emotional pain is just as unbearable, and the mood swings that come around once a month are a killer. If you ever feel powerless and fragile, remember that every woman in the world is strong, because we have to deal with a lot of crap every single month for the rest of our lives — or at least the next few decades. Here are some of the crappiest parts of having your period:

  1. Oral sex is off the table. Some couples will consider a woman’s time of the month “oral week.” But when exactly is cunnilingus week? It’s not fair for men to get a week dedicated to their pleasure while we get a week taken away from us.
  2. Boys never own garbage cans. It’s still a mystery why bachelors won’t keep garbage cans in their bathrooms, but it’s incredibly inconvenient. We don’t want to risk clogging the toilet by flushing our pads and tampons down it, so we have to risk walking into his kitchen with our dirty, used products.
  3. We can’t wear sexy underwear. Our periods are no time to wear a thong. It’s when we break out our granny panties. Even though they’re comfortable, they’re nowhere near sexy. That’s why it’s never any fun to go out on a date during that time of the month when we know what’s hidden beneath our clothes.
  4. Dogs sniff us in the worst places. We all love animals, but we hate how they head straight to our crotch when we’re on our periods. They give away our secret to everyone in the room. We’d die from embarrassment if it weren’t for the fact there’s a cute puppy nearby that we’re able to pet.
  5. Tampons and pads make tons of noise. We have side zippers in our pocketbooks for our pads and tampons, because we like to keep things discreet. That’s why it makes no sense for the wrappers to be so damn loud. We can’t hide the fact that we’re on our period when we’re in a quiet bathroom with crinkling paper.
  6. Men actually ask if we’re on our period. The only thing worse than mood swings is being asked if we’re on our period. This is something that only men do, because other women realize how disrespectful it is. We’re already dealing with cramps, headaches, and backaches. We don’t need to deal with ignorance, too.
  7. We cry over things we don’t care about. On any other day of the year, we’d laugh at how ridiculous Lifetime movie scripts are. But on our period, we’ll cry over the corny couples that gave up everything for love.
  8. Coughing and sneezing become a big deal. We never realize what a big deal sneezing is until we’re on our period. That little gesture can cause a whole lot of blood to come pouring out. Disgusting? Yes. Unusual? No.
  9. We can’t wear our favorite pants. If we wear white pants, we’ll risk staining them. If we wear yoga pants, we’ll risk our pad lines showing through them. If we wear skirts, we’ll feel uncomfortably exposed. We can’t win when it comes to our wardrobe.
  10. We’re forced to spend money. Period products are like toilet paper. We need to buy them in order to survive. No, ten bucks for a box of tampons doesn’t seem like a lot, but it adds up when we’re buying a new box every month for the rest of our lives.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.