10 Things A Guy Does When He Doesn’t Love You, He’s Just Settling For You

You might think the guy you’re dating is crazy about you, but is he really? Sure, your relationship seems solid enough, but if you’re having doubts, there could be a reason for those feelings. If your boyfriend is guilty of any of these 10 things, you have to wonder if he’s really head over heels for you or if he’s simply settling for your relationship.

  1. He hates relationship labels. If he loves you and wants a future with you, he’s going to want to put a label on things! If he doesn’t, that’s cause for concern. Maybe he’s not keen to call you his girlfriend to others because he’s not seeing this relationship as his grand love or something that’s going to grow and become stronger.
  2. He’s got a different type. When he’s talked to you about his exes or shown you pics of them, you can see that they’re quite different from you. Maybe you have very different lifestyles or hobbies, for instance, which can make you wonder why he’s even with you. Of course, he could have decided to go for a different type, but it’s telling if you feel like his choice to date you is completely out of the ordinary for him. Are you just an experiment or a fun person to date for now, in his eyes?
  3. He doesn’t express his feelings. You might start to get the feeling something’s off with him if he can’t express what you mean to him. Ugh. He should have good reasons why he wants to be with you. Hey, you’re a catch! If he doesn’t express his feelings but you express yours, you might start to feel like you’re on totally different pages. And you are – you’re crazy about him and he’s not-so-crazy but just going with it. Wow, how romantic.
  4. He doesn’t make plans for the future. If he’s keen to have a real, committed relationship with you, he’s going to want to plan ahead for the future, such as the places he’s keen for you to go together or the goals you should chase down as a team. If he’s not excited about your future or planning one with you, you might not have one. He’s settling for the present.
  5. He expresses societal pressure. While he might not express his feelings for you, he’s been known to express pressure he feels from society about finding someone and getting married. Hm. Is he just with you so he can feel he has someone?
  6. He got with you out of convenience. You guys were casually dating when he needed a place to stay so you suggested you guys move in together. Or, you were both single at the same time and he figured, “Why not?” If it sometimes feels like he’s just going with the flow, then that should be a red flag that he’s settling.
  7. He’s not interested in who you are. You might ask him tons of questions about his childhood, dreams, day at work, and more, but he’s never really interested in hearing about you and your life. He might seem distracted when you talk about your passions or just not ask you follow-up questions about your stressful workday. It feels like your interest in him just isn’t reciprocated, and that’s terrible.
  8. He only connects during sex. If he can’t connect with you over dinner by asking you thoughtful questions but he’s all for connecting during sex or every conversation with him becomes naughty, then the physical aspect of your relationship is what could be keeping you both together. Where’s the emotional intimacy?
  9. He undermines your thoughts. If you guys are quite different from each other, he should be open to and respectful of your opinions and thoughts. If he’s always cutting you down for what you think/believe, this guy’s not only settling for you but he’s dragging you down too.
  10. He doesn’t make you feel valued. You should be with someone who makes you feel like the most beautiful and amazing person in the room. If it feels like your boyfriend doesn’t really value who you are and he’s not proud to be with you, he might just be settling and taking you for granted. When you do nice/romantic things for him, he should reciprocate them and feel special because he’s got you in his life. If that’s not happening, he’s just not the right guy for you and he’s wasting your time.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.