10 Things A Guy Wants In A Casual Relationship

If you’re the type of person who really thrives in long-term, serious relationships, you may feel a little lost if you decide to embark on something a bit more carefree. For the record, it’s okay if this kind of arrangement isn’t really your thing, but if you’re looking to try it out, here’s what guys want (and don’t want) in a casual relationship.

  1. They don’t want to feel obliged to meet your family and friends. It might happen naturally. Depending on the nature of the relationship, they may have no problem going as your plus-one to a family wedding, especially if it’s an open bar and there’s a chance to dress up. Still, it’s something that shouldn’t be forced on them. Some guys feel like when they’ve met your parents, they’ve stepped over a line they’re not very comfortable with. It’s much harder to call it quits on a casual relationship if they’re invested in your personal life.
  2. They just want to have fun. Leave the drama at the door. Don’t expect to get into emotional arguments with someone you’re in a casual relationship with since that’s not what they signed up for. The second things get passionate in terms of emotions, they’ll probably be out the door. Casual relationships are just that — casual and worry-free.
  3. They want to make you happy. Just because a relationship is casual doesn’t mean the guy doesn’t like you and want to impress you. Chances are, your arrangement is simply because the guy doesn’t have the time (or the desire) to make things official. But obviously, he’s attracted to you and wants you to feel the same way.
  4. He wants you to be cool with him seeing (or sleeping with) other women. A casual relationship gives permission to sleep with other people. It’s not cheating, nor is it a betrayal. That’s hard for some people to grasp, but he probably wants to make sure your jealousy isn’t at a dangerous level if he talks about someone else. If you do feel jealous, it means you’re falling for him and might want to take a few steps back.
  5. He wants the ability to send a “U up?” text at night. Dating requires planning and scheduling. Casual relationships, on the other hand, are a bit more up in the air. Many guys prefer them if they’re really busy and don’t have much time. If you’re able to entertain him regardless of the time, then he’s going to get a lot out of your casual relationship.
  6. He wants you to be confident. Admittedly, that can be hard if you know he’s sleeping with other people. It can be tough not to compare the situation or wonder whether or not he likes you more. It shouldn’t be a contest. Guys want a casual relationship where the person they’re with isn’t going to explode with anxiety or feel neglected. They want you to be just as free and open.
  7. They want to try new things. Part of the fun of a casual relationship is mixing things up — both as far as dates go and in the bedroom. The type of person who thrives in a casual relationship is spontaneous and up for anything. While you should always be comfortable, having a free spirit is very beneficial. If you’re the type of person who’d leave work early for a spontaneous road trip with your friends, you’ll fit the bill.
  8. They don’t want to spend a ton of money. Dates can be simple. Order a pizza, hang out, watch Netflix, and see what happens from there. Guys who are into casual relationships don’t want the pressure of buying their partner big gifts for the holidays, and that’s okay. Casual dating isn’t a partnership. It’s more like two individuals spending time with each other as a way to be social and experience all life has to offer.
  9. They don’t necessarily want to fall in love. Again, it can happen, but many men try out casual relationships after being burned by serious ones. Sometimes they’re fresh off of a divorce and need a bit of a breather but also don’t want to be lonely. A guy who spends time with you likes you and respects you but knows that the “L” word isn’t going to be tossed out anytime soon.
  10. They want the ability to break away without consequences. Sometimes a relationship just runs its course. But if two people were never serious about each other to begin with, saying goodbye is a lot easier. This is the kind of relationship where one partner can say something like, “Work’s been busy, I’m not going to be around for a few months” and the other partner will acknowledge that. They may circle back or it might be the end. Casual relationships are all about freedom.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.