It may not be obvious at first glance, but there’s a huge difference between friends and best friends. Friends are there to be nice, polite, understanding beacons of companionship. Best friends are there to be callous, snarky instigators that get into all kinds of shenanigans at ungodly hours. If friends are the angel on your shoulder, best friends are the devil on the other side drunkenly suggesting to go out for pizza at four in the morning. Besties do some strange things in the name of friendship.
They spend lots of time listening to long, messy rants. One friend in the group needs to get something off her chest. She goes on an epic tirade about her incompetent boss but gets distracted and starts ranting about that one time her dog escaped on Halloween and she had to chase him around her neighborhood in promiscuous gorilla costume. The other friends sit, listen and occasionally contribute to the rage. Several hours pass before the fragmented rant dies down and everyone realizes they’re hungry.
They laugh at each other. Not with each other, at each other. People do stupid things all the time, and it’s hilarious. Friends might keep a straight face during those events to be polite or some crap, but best friends won’t even bother hiding their amusement. In fact, they might do something stupid of their own to add to the hilarity.
They do absolutely nothing together, and they’re fine with that. When everyone’s hanging out, there’s no need to actually plan some kind of activity like going to a bar or to see a movie. The mere act of conversation is plenty of entertainment for everyone. Sitting around and firing off offensive and crude one-liners keeps everyone upbeat and amused for hours. It’s not unusual for your faces to hurt from smiling and laughing so much.
They watch terrible movies just to make fun of them. It doesn’t matter if it’s a low-budget horror movie or a cheesy disaster on the Lifetime channel. Best friends don’t seek out those movies to enjoy them: they watch them to mock the absolute crap out of the plot, the actors, and the horrible dialogue. Tidbits from the craptastic movies become inside jokes that live on for years.
They have uncontrollable giggle fits in public places. It’s the little things that set you off, and it always happens somewhere quiet, because of course it does. You and your besties lose your crap and can’t contain your laughter while all the normal people around you stare in confusion.
They shamelessly recall embarrassing memories. No cringeworthy event is off-limits. If it pops into someone’s head, it’s out in the open seconds later. Because this happens constantly, no one will ever, ever forget the time Becky got wasted at a baby shower and cracked wildly inappropriate penis jokes all night.
They send each other random texts and pictures. Texts with N*SYNC lyrics at two in the morning and pictures of Disney memes are a normal experience when texting your best friends. If a week goes by without receiving some kind of weird message, something is definitely off and a well-being text is in order.
They share very personal things with each other. If a group of best friends are laughing hysterically, it’s much more likely that they were talking about poop instead of something typically girly, like an awful reality show. Best friends unabashedly share terrible, terrible things with each other. They know they will be laughed at but never judged. Okay, maybe judged a little.
They purposely try on terrible outfits when they go shopping. Best friends couldn’t give any less of a damn about looking hot in front of each other. If you’re out with your crew and you see a series of hideous items that would work well together to make an eye-assaulting outfit, it’s straight to the fitting room to try it all on. When you exit the fitting room like a dramatic high-fashion model, the laughter and picture taking commences.
They rescue each other from awkward situations. Best friends will swoop in and rescue one of their crew members no matter what, whether they’re stranded on the toilet or stuck at an awkward family gathering. Those bad bitches will formulate an extraction plan immediately upon receiving the distress call and do whatever it takes to save the one in need. The “never leave a man behind” mentality is deeply ingrained in the group dynamic and it comes in handy way too often.
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