10 Things That Don’t Belong In A Healthy Relationship

10 Things That Don’t Belong In A Healthy Relationship ©iStock/Geber86

Anyone can enter a relationship, but it takes energy and effort to sustain a healthy one. Love isn’t all you need. There are plenty of other things that are necessary for a couple to grow, like respect and attention. However, here are a few things that don’t belong in a healthy relationship:

  1. Name calling. It doesn’t matter how bad the fight is or how angry you are. You should never call each other names that’ll haunt you long after the argument is over.
  2. Resentment. You can’t blame your boyfriend for everything that’s gone wrong in your life. You’re just as responsible as he is for the choices you two have made as a team.
  3. Ultimatums. If your boyfriend loved you, he’d stop talking to his ex of his own volition. He shouldn’t wait until you put your foot down and tell him that it’s either her or you.
  4. Shaming. There’s no room for fat shaming or slut-shaming in a healthy relationship. Your partner shouldn’t care how much you weigh or how many men you’ve slept with in the past.
  5. Pressure. He shouldn’t use his status as your boyfriend to pressure you into trying butt sex, using sex toys, or having a threesome. You should only be engaging in acts that you’re both comfortable with, because of a thing called consent.
  6. Insecurity. You shouldn’t stay up all night wondering if your boyfriend is going to leave you, cheat on you, or injure you. Couples in healthy relationships don’t have to wonder where their partner stands, because they talk things out and trust each other.
  7. Other people. Your family and friends are free to interact with your boyfriend, but they shouldn’t influence your relationship. Don’t let them talk you into leaving your partner when you’re perfectly happy with him.
  8. Accusations. If you’re always accusing each other of cheating, then how could you have a happy relationship—let alone a healthy one? If there’s no trust, then it won’t be long until there isn’t any relationship, either.
  9. Fickleness. You can’t tell your boyfriend you love him one day, threaten to leave him the next day, and then repeat the cycle. Healthy relationships are all about stability, which means you can’t keep changing your mind about how you feel about him.
  10. Dread. If the thought of moving in with your boyfriend fills you with fear, then you two aren’t on the right path. You should be excited to start your future together, not terrified.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.