10 Things I Don’t Want To See In Your Dating Profile

10 Things I Don’t Want To See In Your Dating Profile

Online dating isn’t easy, guys. I understand that. It’s hard to actually bring out your good side on a profile, and at times, what you think works well is actually a pretty bad idea. We’ve all been there. However, there are certain things that you just shouldn’t ever put in your dating profile if you want a girl to think you’re attractive. Here are just a few of them:

  1. Photos of you and your ex (or any other female). When I see this on a guy’s profile, it basically screams, “I’m probably still dating her.” At best, you’ll look lazy and hung up on your ex. At worst, you’ll end up looking like a cheater who’s looking to score a side chick. Don’t do it, bro!
  2. Personal bios that say absolutely nothing about you. Oh, so you like to have fun? That’s great! I’d hate to be around someone who openly proclaims that they like to be miserable. And you like to be both indoors and outdoors… so you like to exist? This doesn’t really tell anyone anything, does it? I really wish guys would be a smidge more specific about what they like to do, what they do for a living and what kind of things they dislike.
  3. Rants about women. We get it, you’ve been hurt before. That doesn’t mean that women will actually be cool with you talking about how “all girls want is money or looks.” In fact, as someone who was born female, I take offense to that. Besides, if you so clearly hate women, why date us?
  4. A laundry list of physical features you want in a woman. Believe it or not, this doesn’t actually help you score with the hot girls you want to date. Actually, even if I was at least 5’7″ and under 140 pounds, I still wouldn’t date a guy who had this in his profile because of what it tells us about your personality. All that this ever shows girls is how shallow you are — and how likely it is that you won’t see past our bodies.
  5. Discussions about your penis, or how you are in bed. If you do this, you might as well just write “I’m a player” on your dating profile. It’s trashy, and it suggests that you’re probably too selfish to be any good in bed.
  6. Your career resume. Don’t get me wrong, a degree from Princeton would be really nice to have in a guy. However, I don’t want to date a guy who relies on his money or degree to sell himself to other people.
  7. Saying that you “deserve” a woman with a certain physique. Even if you’re really physically fit, saying this just makes you unattractive. No one wants a guy who feels that entitled to eye candy, even if he justifies it by talking about how “hard he’s worked” to get what he already has.
  8. Slut-shaming. This is scarily common on dating profiles, and I just don’t understand it. If you can’t stand promiscuous women and hate sex, why would we want to sleep with you? Moreover, why would anyone want to date someone who will flat-out call them a skank?
  9. Photos of you posing with guns, knives or swords. This might work with a select few girls, but the fact is that it makes most girls think you’re the Unabomber’s nephew. Even if it’s anime-related, it’s not something that is attractive. Remember, girls are often scared of the fact that the guy they might be talking to online
  10. Lies. Lastly, if you’re 45 and claim that you’re 35, I’ll eventually find out. If you’re talking about how you have a Master’s degree in psych but didn’t even graduate college, it’ll be obvious. If you’re lying on your profile, I’ll immediately dismiss you — as will most other women.
Ossiana Tepfenhart works as an editor to FunNewJersey's magazine, and has been working with a massive series of lifestyle sites including Woman Around Town and Guff.com