10 Things Falling For The Wrong Person Can Teach You

10 Things Falling For The Wrong Person Can Teach You ©iStock/CoffeeAndMilk

They say we can’t help who we love, and generally that’s true. But real love doesn’t usually happen over night, and even if you don’t want to admit it, there were probably a few chances along the way for you to stifle any feelings you might have started to develop. Obviously, sometimes even despite our best efforts, we end up falling for someone we shouldn’t. It’s only a matter of time before we realize how wrong they are for us, but that doesn’t make getting over them any easier.

  1. To listen to your instincts. If you’re honest with yourself, there was probably a twinge or two along the way that suggested it wasn’t the best idea to pursue this person. Hindsight is of course, 20/20, but if you trusted your intuition more, maybe you would have thought twice before getting in so deep.
  2. That love doesn’t conquer all. You might have thought that as long as you were in love, the rest would fall into place. Needless to say, that is definitely not how it works. Relationships are hard work, and sometimes love isn’t enough to cancel out all the mitigating circumstances.
  3. What your true deal breakers are. You might have fallen for someone despite your best intentions, but realized after that there are certain things you really can’t compromise on. It took giving someone a chance and regretting it to confirm that you do, in fact, have some deal breakers.
  4. That people don’t always mean what they say. Learning the lesson that people don’t always tell the truth, especially when it comes to their feelings, is a hard one. Trusting someone is a risk, and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly.
  5. That making a relationship work is no small feat. When you come to the conclusion love isn’t, in fact, all you need, you either have the option to cut your losses and walk away, or buckle down and put in the work. When you see that not every relationship is going to work just because you want it to, you’ll understand what people go through to be with someone, and figure out just how much you are willing to do to have the same.
  6. You’ll be unwilling to settle next time. Having your heart broken has a way of scaring us away from putting ourselves out there for a little while. After taking some time to heal, you’ll probably want to make sure the next time you let someone in, it’s worth the risk.
  7. You’ll know what you don’t want from experience. We all think we know what we do and do not want, but sometimes it takes actually experiencing something to know for sure that it’s not for you.
  8. You’ll realize that you can get over a broken heart. Of course it feels awful at first, and you’re not sure if you’ll ever get over it. But you always do, and that alone can make you stronger and more hopeful for the future. There isn’t anything you can’t overcome.
  9. When you do find the right one, you’ll be sure. If you never have anything to compare it to, how will you know when you’re with the right person? Having a failed relationship along the way will help you appreciate one that’s good for you.
  10. You’ll finally see that being in a relationship isn’t everything. Maybe you fell for someone because you just didn’t want to be alone, and you figured, well this is good enough. You should never settle for good enough, because you’ll inevitably end up on missing out on perfect for you because you’ll be too distracted trying to force something that’s never going to work.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.