I’m a positive person, but I’m not immune to letting dating get me down once in a while. That being said, I’m done being in a bad mood over ghosting and unfortunate dates. Here are 10 changes I’m making to stay positive about finding love:
- I’m going to take self-imposed breaks. I’ve had a love/hate thing with the dating hiatus but I’m finally on board. Forcing myself to keep trying when I’m burnt out and need some me time is only going to make me more miserable. So there’s really no point. Every once in a while, I’m taking a month off, and I just know it’s going to make the search feel so much easier.
- I’m not going to pressure myself. I’m done with deciding on the number of dates I should get in a week or month. I’m not going to worry about when I’m going to finally have a second date or even a good first one. I’m over pressuring myself because that’s just asking to fail.
- I’m going to remember it takes time. If finding love was simple, everyone would have it. If there were good guys around every corner, there would be no such thing as bad dates. Finding a jerk to date for a few months is pretty much the easiest thing in the world, but I’m not doing that, so I’m okay to wait.
- I’m going to celebrate the small wins. Maybe I’m not moving in with someone or saying I love them, but I can still celebrate the tiny milestones in my own dating life. From now on, I’m making a point to celebrate the small wins, from a good online chat that flows to finally getting another date.
- I’m not going to dwell on the weirdness. Dating and weirdness pretty much go hand-in-hand these days. The most chill-seeming guys are basically monsters in real life, and whether a date will go well is anyone’s guess. I’m not going to dwell on the weirdness anymore. When something creepy happens, I’m going to shrug and move on ASAP.
- I’m going to realize I’m not unique. I want to be unique as much as the next girl, but when it comes to dating, nothing I’ve experienced has been mine alone. I share the bad times with every other single girl who’s going through the exact same thing. If they can be upbeat and keep going, why can’t I?
- I’m going to appreciate my life. Pretty much the only thing missing from my life is a boyfriend, and that’s a pretty good place to be in. I have the career, the friendships, the apartment, the family. I’m not going to stop loving what I do have just because of what I don’t. That’s no way to live.
- I’m going to be more social. The more time I spend alone, the easier it is to let my negative thoughts run wild. The more of an effort I make to see friends and go places, the more I remember how much good I already have in my world. A boyfriend would be a nice addition, but not my entire reason for being.
- I’m going to be realistic. Being positive can quickly cross over into being naive and innocent, and that’s just not me. I don’t expect every first date to be the beginning of a love story or every online conversation to even result in a date. I can stay realistic and not get my hopes up and still be optimistic.
- I’m going to keep my eye on the prize. I want to find a good guy who has his own life, career, and an actual personality. I’m not going to date just anyone, and that’s a comforting thought when it feels like it’s going to take absolutely forever to find someone. If I wanted a boyfriend badly enough, I could have one tomorrow — but keeping my eye on the prize, on the type of person I’m actually looking for, helps me stay positive, and that’s better than a pity party any day of the week.
