When you haven’t gotten laid in a really long time, you’ll start to feel like you’re going a little crazy. After all, sex helps keep your mind and body active. Without it, you won’t be the same. That’s why these things can end up happening when you haven’t gotten laid in a really long time:
- You start finding more men attractive. It’s like you’re wearing beer goggles that make even the greasiest, grimiest guy look sexy. You want to get laid so badly that your brain will trick you into seeing every man as a potential mate.
- The smallest touch can turn you on. When your coworker accidentally brushes his arm up against yours, you imagine what it would be like to bang him in your cubicle. You’re not used to feeling anyone’s skin against yours, so when you do, it feels like foreplay.
- Your search history is NSFW. The internet is filled with masturbation material. You know all of the best places to look for it, because watching online sex has become part of your daily routine.
- You hate happy couples more than usual. Whenever you see a couple holding hands or kissing, you become unreasonably angry with them. How dare they show affection in front of women like you, who are stuck using vibrators every night?
- You actually debate contacting your ex. You’re over all of the horrible men that you’ve dated in the past, but you want to get laid so badly that you wonder if it would be acceptable to contact them. You’re not looking for a relationship, just one night of wild sex.
- You worry you’re going to suck at sex from now on. Even though you’ve been daydreaming about sex for ages, you’re worried about what will happen when your dry spell finally ends. You hope you didn’t lose your touch over the last few months.
- You live vicariously through your friends. When your best friend tells you that she had a one-night stand, you don’t judge her. You ask her to give you every single detail, so that you can feel like you were there with her.
- Pregnancy scares are a thing of the past. Unless you immaculately conceive a child, you aren’t going to become a mother anytime soon. That means you don’t have to stress when your period comes a little bit late.
- You stop caring about what you look like under your clothes. Your dry spell has lasted so long that you assume you aren’t going to get laid in the near future. That’s why you’ve swapped your thongs out for granny panties and stopped shaving every inch of your skin.
- Your outbursts are always blamed on your dry spell. Whenever you get a little bit angry, you’re told that you “need to get laid.” Everyone assumes that sex is the answer to your attitude problem, and you’re starting to think they could be right.
