10 Things I Felt Obligated To Do After My Breakup

After my last breakup, I didn’t feel like leaving my house or doing anything at all—I just wanted to wallow for a while. However, I felt obligated to get out there and make some big changes in my life as most people do after ending a relationship. I didn’t particularly want to go through the motions, but I did these 10 things anyway:

  1. Go on a vacation After my breakup, I knew I needed a change in scenery if I was ever going to pull myself out of my endless funk. I figured going on vacation would help me feel better and get my mind off of my ex. I felt like it was something I had to do to relax and clear my mind, so I decided to plan a girls’ trip somewhere on a beach with beautiful sunsets, drinks, food, and fun.
  2. Sign up to every dating app out there I felt like I had to download some dating apps and start swiping. I didn’t necessarily want to do this, but anything that would potentially make me feel better was something that I was willing to try. However, I never met anyone even remotely relationship-worthy and I eventually realized that this was just more of a distraction than something concrete, at least for me.
  3. Go out and drink my pain away I never was really into drinking, clubbing, etc. After my breakup, however, I knew I needed to get back out into the single scene and see what was out there. It was really painful at first and extra depressing, but I eventually learned how to make the most of it. It was fun to go out with the girls, dance, drink, and not have a care in the world. It got my mind off the breakup for a few hours and any little bit was a big help.
  4. Change my environment I reorganized my entire room with a friend and that really helped me embrace my new change in lifestyle. I went out and bought all new cute accessories for my room and completely changed the way my living space looked. It signified a new chapter in my life even if I didn’t feel ready for it just yet.
  5. Change something about my appearance I wanted to dye, cut, or chemically straighten my hair. I needed some type of change because I felt if I looked different on the outside, that would in some way indicate a stronger version of myself inside. Even something as insignificant as changing my nail polish color worked for me.
  6. Treat myself Treating myself could mean buying new clothes, new glasses, a mani/pedi, or a full-blown spa day. Doing this helped me realize that I didn’t have to put my partner first anymore it was just me. It felt good to buy new things that were actually for myself for a change. I deserve it!
  7. Reconnect with old acquaintances I felt a void in my heart after my breakup, so I wanted to fill that void with others that I’d lost touch with throughout the course of my relationship. I figured if I reconnected with enough old acquaintances, it would fill the hole in my heart that my ex left behind. This was easier said than done, but it still felt good to strengthen those bonds of friendship. Plus, it was a great distraction from my heartbreak.
  8. Find a rebound I needed to find someone as soon as possible after my relationship ended. I felt an unspoken competition between me and my ex that I had to find someone first to show him what he was missing. I wanted to prove to him that I was hot and could get plenty of guys and he was missing out. While this is fun, it’s no way to start another relationship, it was a bit of fun.
  9. Take up a new hobby Everyone kept asking me what my hobbies were and of course when I was asked that question, I couldn’t come up with a single thing. People kept telling me I should try yoga, kickboxing, mediation, cooking, coloring, etc. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try something new, especially since I had so much time on my hands all of a sudden. A new hobby kept my mind occupied and refocused my energy into something positive. I’m glad that was a constant suggestion.
  10. Listen to sad songs I found myself listening to really sad songs after my breakup—I know, what a cliche. Crying to sad songs is part of the healing process, helping you to acknowledge your feelings and let go of them eventually. These songs became very relatable to me and it helped to know that others have been where I was at some point in their lives.  Listening to these songs was, for me, a way of letting go of the immense pain I was in.
Shell is a freelance writer living in Boston, MA. Writing has always been a part of her life even outside of school. In the past she’s written for her school newspaper, town newspaper and Her Campus website. In her spare time she enjoys hanging out with friends, reading, listening to music, going to the beach and relaxing. She looks forward to experiencing a lot more in the coming years and stepping out of her comfort zone.