10 Things I’m Not Going To Freak Out About Anymore

Sometimes it feels like I deserve a medal just for surviving being single this long. While I love my life and wouldn’t change my journey so far, it’s been crazy frustrating sometimes just trying to survive in the dating world. I’m not sweating it anymore, though — I recently made a decision to stop worrying about so much, especially about these 10 things:

  1. Getting ghosted. I’ve been ghosted, I’ve ghosted, no big deal. It sucks when I really like the guy, but this usually happens when I’m on the fence. So instead of being upset, I’m going to thank him for proving he’s not the right guy.
  2. When first dates don’t happen. I used to get super frustrated when I was trying to meet a guy I’d been chatting with IRL and it never happened. Sometimes plans just never materialize and some guys aren’t actually looking to get offline. That’s got nothing to do with me and everything to do with them.
  3. Going weeks or even months without a single date. Sigh. This probably happens to everyone, but sometimes it literally feels like I’m the only person who can’t get a date. I’m not going to worry about it anymore because eventually I always get a date. There’s no point freaking out about something I can’t control.
  4. Having had only one real relationship. I’ve always been a little bit insecure about the fact that I’ve only had one serious relationship in my 26 years. But I’ve had two almost ones and countless dates, and I definitely feel like I know what I’m doing. Everyone progresses at different paces and there’s no reason to feel bad about this. After all, it’s better than refusing to dump a total loser.
  5. My steady stream of crappy dates. 2016 has been My Year Of Bad Dates. It seems like the better my career is going, the worst my love life is. I could cry forever about this or move on and keep trying. I like the latter option. All I can control is making myself go on the dates — I can’t do anything about their outcome.
  6. Being super picky sometimes. In the moment, I always think I’m being totally fair when I decide not to go on a second date. Later, the regret sets in and I wonder if I’m being way too picky, but I know what I want and there’s no point wasting my time.
  7. Focusing on myself. I sometimes feel super unproductive when I take a few nights off to watch TV or even take an entire weekend off work, but self-care is totally essential and it’s not selfish or lazy. I need time to decompress and relax to get my energy levels back up so I can go out and kick more ass. Doesn’t everyone?
  8. Taking dating breaks. Sometimes I just have to take a step back and deal with my non-dating life… and there’s nothing wrong with that. Maybe it lasts a month, maybe two or three, but these breaks keep my sanity and they’re everything to me. Plus, they allow me to forget a little of the disillusionment I always end up feeling after one too many crappy dates and renew my optimism about finding someone great.
  9. Getting confused. Some days, I think I have it all figured out;  other times, I swear I have no idea who my type is or what kind of personality I want my dream guy to have and I’ve forgotten how to message on an app, let alone talk on a first date. But I’m not going to freak out about getting confused anymore — it’s all part of the process.
  10. Being judged. I live a pretty normal life for a freelancer, but to some people, it’s super weird that I work for myself and that I want to make a living out of writing. They don’t get how I stay inspired and motivated and they don’t understand me, but that’s okay. That’s their issue and I’m not going to get upset when I’m judged anymore. I know who I am, I love my lifestyle, and that’s what matters.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.