When you feel like you’re perpetually single, it can be easy to start questioning if there’s something wrong with you. Even though it’s 2016 and we should all know better than to determine our own value based on whether or not we’re dating someone, there are still people out there who will try to convince you that your worth can be determined by your relationship status. But regardless of whether you’re single, taken, or somewhere in between, these things will always be more important than how single you are:
Your own self-worth
What you value about yourself is infinitely more important than what a potential boyfriend could think about you. If you don’t think that you’re a serious catch on your own, then getting into a relationship isn’t going to change that. Regardless of who you end up in the future, it’s guaranteed that you’re going to have to live with yourself your whole life — don’t you want to love that person?
The way you treat others
What good is finding one person who loves you if you treat everyone else like crap? If you’re a genuinely kind and compassionate human being, you’ll end up attracting the right people both as friends and as romantic partners. But even if you can’t find someone you want to date, you’ll be able to rest easy knowing that you’ve done your part to make those around you live happier lives.
You have stuff to do, people to see, dreams to accomplish. The things you want to achieve should never be put on hold just to make it easier to attract a guy. In fact, if he’s really worth your while, he’ll support you in your quest to achieve your goals rather than holding you back. If he doesn’t, though, he can step aside and watch as you check off all the things you always knew you could do, single or not.
There are miserable single people and miserable people in relationships. There are also happy single people and happy people in relationships. Your relationship status isn’t what determines how happy you are, but your satisfaction with your own life should always be priority number one. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you that you’ll never be completely whole without a man in your life. As long as you’re content with what you have, your life IS whole, and whether or not you want a partner to be the cherry on top is completely up to you.
Should that career be a lucrative office job or a stay-at-home mom job? Well, that’s your call. The important thing is that you’re giving it everything you have to ensure that it enhances your life. Being or not being in a relationship has no bearing on how good you are at what you do, so feel free to give the finger to anyone who tells you that you shouldn’t be putting your job ahead of settling down with the right guy.
The people you love
You don’t need a romantic partner when you have awesome friends and family members by your side. Regardless of whether or not you’re single or taken, you know that the people who have been with you from the beginning will still love you exactly the way you are. Boyfriends may come and go, but you can rest assured that these folks will be with you until the very end.
This goes for both physical and mental health. You only get one body, and it’s important to give it the love and care it deserves. Some relationships — especially abusive ones — can put that health at risk, and it’s not worth staying just because you’re worried about being alone. It’s infinitely better to be single than it is to date someone who makes you feel like anything less than your best self.
I have yet to have an interaction with a guy that is more emotionally fulfilling than an interaction with a dog. Even if you don’t have pets of your own, getting to hang out with someone else’s is pretty much the definition of happiness. Single, taken, does it really matter when you have a fuzzy kitty purring in your arms?
If you have something that you love to do, whether or not it will ever make you rich, it’s important to dedicate time to it. The satisfaction you get out of painting or welding or kickboxing — whatever brings you joy — will stay with you regardless of whether or not you’ve found the right guy. If you can find something you love to do, you’ll never have to worry about your relationships status determining your happiness.
As long as you’re setting reasonable expectations, there’s no reason that you should ever settle for a partner. Aiming lower than you know you deserve is only going to make you miserable and resentful if you do end up in a relationship. It might not seem like it at the time, but being single and knowing you didn’t settle is going to make you a lot happier in the long run… and as an added bonus, it will leave the door open for someone who DOES meet the standards you set.
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