10 Things I’ve Learned From Dating An Introverted Guy

My guy is definitely not an extrovert. He’s not weird in social situations or anything, he just rejuvenates best when he’s alone and prefers spending nights in, just the two of us, rather than going out in loud social settings. It’s a completely different experience from my previous relationships and I’ve learned so much already. Dating an introverted guy is certainly an eye-opener!

  1. Sometimes, you just need to leave people alone. Introverts get their energy from alone time. They like to just chill with their thoughts and feelings and not have to worry about outside stimulation or interaction. Sometimes they read a book, watch Netflix or play a video game. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s not personal, and I just need to let him do his own thing for a while and then he’ll be back to normal.
  2. He’ll entertain people, but it probably isn’t his preference. My guy is a great host and chef and he likes to have people over, but he doesn’t want to do it all the time, and definitely not numerous nights in a row. If we have a big night with friends over, the next night he wants it to be just us (and probably the next several after that, as well). I’ve adjusted after several years of being together, but I can admit at first it was hard. Now I appreciate the quiet nights in because I’m old AF (or at least I feel that way).
  3. Introvert doesn’t equally socially awkwardPeople automatically assume that an introvert is someone who can’t function around people in a social setting. This is a lie and we should stop believing it stat. Introverts don’t interact with people any differently than extroverts, they just get tired of other people more quickly. You take your introverted guy to a party, but maybe don’t stay for five hours.
  4. When you’re an extrovert, dating an introvert takes work. As I mentioned earlier, dating an introverted guy was hard for me for a while. As I’m getting older and realizing that people suck and I don’t actually want to spend time with them for an entire weekend, the ways of the introvert are growing on me. However, when I was younger and wanted to party, it was really hard to cope with. Thankfully, we managed to find some common ground and now we’ve met in the middle.
  5. Introverts are not weirdos. I’m not sure where the stigma comes from, but people think being introverted means there’s something wrong. Not all introverted men spend their weekends playing Fallout, just as not all extroverted men are players. Introverts are everywhere but you probably haven’t noticed because they’re not really all that different on the surface to anyone else.
  6. You have to look for balance if you’re going to stay together. Think about something that makes you really cranky if you have to do it for too long. You wouldn’t like it if your partner made you do it all of the time, would you? No, of course not. An introverted guy feels that way about overcrowded social situations. There has to be some give and take. If we go to a BBQ today, maybe tomorrow we should go see a movie or indulge in Netflix at home. We’ll both be happier this way.
  7. Sometimes we’ll go our separate ways for the night. There’s nothing wrong with doing different things. We all need our space sometimes to just be ourselves and be in our element. Sometimes in my relationship, our elements are not always the same. It’s totally fine and I think the differences between us make our marriage awesome, but sometimes it means I’m going out and he’s staying in. So long as we’re fair to one another when this happens, it will work perfectly.
  8. I get way more time with my girls than I did in past relationships. Introverted guys don’t want to spend an entire evening with you and your friends — not because there’s anything wrong with them, but because we all know when we get together with the ladies, it’s noisy, raucous, filled with wine, and can get a little wild. An introverted dude is less likely to give you a hard time about ladies’ night! #ladiesnightout
  9. He still likes to go out with the boys without me. It’s important to remember that just because he’s introverted doesn’t mean he won’t want the same courtesy when it’s guys’ night. Introverted guys still like their friends and hanging out with them without you. I try to be a good extroverted partner and let him go out with the guys without being jealous.
  10. If I drag him to a million social events, he will be cranky by Sunday. This is just the way it is. Sunday will be rough if I don’t give him a break all weekend. I’ve learned how to seriously pick my battles.
C. is an aspiring yogi and Ph.D student who loves her dogs, bright lipstick and to travel. Find her on IG @drparko121314