10 Things Married People Understand About Love

10 Things Married People Understand About Love ©iStock/Probuxtor

In a world where the divorce rate keeps going up, words of wisdom from couples who have been able to survive the ups and downs of marriage are worth listening to. They may just be what you need to strengthen your current relationship, especially if you plan on settling down anytime soon.

  1. Letting go of yourself is a big no-no. While you shouldn’t feel the need to be dressed to the nines 24/7, you do still want your partner to find you attractive. How you see yourself affects how your partner sees you, so if you feel confident, that’ll come through. For this reason, doing anything that will help you look and feel your best is worthwhile.
  2. Me-time is sacred. You’ll need it more than you ever imagined once you’re married. Living under the same roof is a wonderful experience, but it’s also more important than ever to make sure you carve out a space in your life just for you to recharge and just unwind.
  3. Some fights really aren’t worth it. So you have to choose which battles you’d like to fight. If it won’t take you much to fix a problem, then work together to take care of it. Don’t pick a fight over petty crap, because there are more important things that are worth your attention and energy.
  4. Communication really is the key to keeping your relationship alive and thriving. You have to talk things through, from the most trivial squabbles to the bigger life and death matters. Saying what’s in your head instead of making your partner read your mind (or assuming he or she knows about it) will save you so much time.
  5. The amount of sex you’ll have depends on how creative you can get. If you’ve been afraid to settle down because you believed the popular belief saying sex doesn’t exist after marriage, you can calm down now. Sex will still be a part of your life even after you’ve tied the knot — you just have to get your creative juices flowing so you can find ways to make it happen amidst your busy schedules.
  6. Marriage is the best way to discover who you really are. If you’ve thought you know yourself well, wait ‘til you get married. Marriage can bring out the best and worst in you. It will make you realize things about your personality you didn’t know even existed.
  7. You’re going to be bored out of your mind sometimes. The honeymoon stages are always exciting, but once you get five, 10, or even 15 years into your relationship, there are going to be times when you’re bored as hell with your partner and your relationship. That doesn’t mean you’ve fallen out of love, it just means you need to remind yourself why you fell in love in the first place.
  8. Marriage is a journey, not a destination. It’s one of the most exhilarating and tough rides you’ll ever journey on in life, so you’ve got to exercise caution. It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon. Pace yourself and enjoy the ride.
  9. You have to hold onto the love you have for each other when times are hardest. Because while you’ll surely experience ups, you’ll go through downs you’ve never thought of or imagined even in your wildest dreams. You’ll weather the fiercest of storms and you’ll only make it through all of it as a couple if your love for each other is strong.
  10. You have to give 150% of yourself. Because if not, you’ll end up being a part of the staggering divorce statistics. And you don’t want that to happen, do you?
Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus. Find her broken, honest, and brave musings at mainebelonio.com.