10 Things Men Do In Relationships When They Have Low Self-Esteem

10 Things Men Do In Relationships When They Have Low Self-Esteem

Men with low self-esteem tend to see unresolved issues rear their ugly head, especially when they’re in romantic relationships. If you’re dating a man who does these things, chances are he’s struggling with his self-worth and needs to focus on boosting it before he can be a fulfilled person or a good partner.

1. They apologize way too much (even when it’s not their fault).

Worried couple talking together in the living room at home.

Men with low self-esteem often find themselves apologizing constantly, even for things that aren’t their fault. It’s like they’re always on the back foot, thinking they’ve done something wrong. This excessive apologizing can stem from a fear of conflict or a deep-seated belief that they’re always to blame. While owning up to mistakes is admirable, over-apologizing can actually undermine their credibility and make their genuine apologies seem less sincere. It’s crucial to recognize when an apology is really warranted and when it’s a symptom of deeper insecurities.

2. They lavish their partners with material gifts.

Showering partners with gifts might seem generous, but when it’s excessive, it can be a sign of low self-esteem. These men might feel they need to ‘buy’ love or affection because they don’t believe they’re enough on their own. While gifts are a lovely part of a relationship, relying on them heavily can create an imbalance. It’s important for them to realize that true emotional connection and mutual respect are about more than just material things.

3. They over-commit to prove their worth.

Shot of an adorable smiling multi-ethnic young couple loading paper shopping bags in their car trunk.

In an effort to prove their worth, men with low self-esteem might over-commit themselves, both in and out of relationships. It could be volunteering for every task at work or going out of their way to do things for their partner, even at the cost of their own well-being. While this might stem from a good place, it’s often about seeking validation. The problem is, constantly trying to prove your worth can lead to burnout and resentment. It’s important for them to realize that their worth isn’t tied to how much they do for others. Setting healthy boundaries and learning to say no when necessary are key steps in acknowledging and honoring their own value.

4. They downplay their achievements.

Blond Female Enjoying Coffee Discussion With Boyfriend Outside

Men with low self-esteem often have trouble accepting and acknowledging their own successes. They might brush off compliments or downplay their achievements. It’s as if they can’t believe they’re genuinely deserving of accolades. This behavior not only diminishes their accomplishments but can also prevent them from recognizing their own worth. Celebrating achievements, no matter how small, is a key step in building self-confidence and self-esteem.

5. They experience chronic self-doubt.

Chronic self-doubt is a common symptom of low self-esteem. These men might constantly question their decisions, abilities, or worth, which can be exhausting not just for them but also for their partners. This relentless self-doubt can lead to dependency in relationships, as they seek constant reassurance and validation. Building self-confidence is a personal journey, but it’s important for the health of the relationship that they start to recognize and appreciate their own value.

6. They seek out unhealthy escapes.

Men grappling with low self-esteem might turn to unhealthy habits or behaviors as a form of escape. This could be anything from excessive drinking to overindulging in video games. It’s like they’re trying to drown out their insecurities or feelings of inadequacy. While everyone needs a break now and then, using these escapes as a crutch can lead to bigger problems and avoid addressing the underlying issues of self-esteem. It’s important for them to find healthier ways to cope and to confront their feelings head-on.

7. They hide their vulnerabilities.

Admitting vulnerabilities can be tough, especially for men who equate it with weakness due to societal norms. Those with low self-esteem often go to great lengths to hide any perceived flaws or weaknesses. They might put up a tough exterior to mask their insecurities. The problem is, this prevents genuine emotional connection and can create a barrier in the relationship. Being open about vulnerabilities is a sign of strength and can lead to deeper, more meaningful connections.

8. They resort to passive-aggressiveness.

Instead of addressing issues directly, men with low self-esteem might resort to passive-aggressive behaviors. This can manifest as sarcastic remarks, silent treatment, or subtle digs. It’s a way of expressing dissatisfaction without having to confront the issue head-on. However, this approach can be confusing and hurtful for their partner and can lead to unresolved conflicts. Clear and direct communication is essential in addressing issues in a healthy way.

9. They can’t accept praise or compliments.

Shy young man closing his face

Accepting praise or compliments can be challenging for those with low self-esteem. They might brush off kind words, or worse, respond with self-deprecating comments. It’s as if they don’t believe they’re worthy of positive recognition. This constant dismissal can be frustrating for their partners and can erode the mutual appreciation that’s vital in a relationship. Learning to accept compliments graciously is a small but significant step towards building self-worth and confidence.

10. They struggle with a fear of abandonment.

Young man hug and comfort upset gay partner sitting on couch at home. Homosexual boyfriend console and support depressed asian guy

Men with low self-esteem often harbor a deep-seated fear of being abandoned. It’s like they’re constantly worried that their partner will leave them for someone “better.” This fear can stem from not feeling good enough and can lead to clingy or needy behavior in relationships. It might manifest as the constant need for reassurance or an overreaction to any sign of distancing by their partner. This fear of abandonment can put a strain on the relationship, as it creates unnecessary pressure and can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy. Addressing these fears directly, possibly with the help of a therapist, and working on building self-esteem are crucial for overcoming this challenge.

Sinitta Weston grew up in Edinburgh but moved to Sydney, Australia to for college and never came back. She works as a chemical engineer during the day and at night, she writes articles about love and relationships. She's her friends' go-to for dating advice (though she struggles to take the same advice herself). Her INFJ personality makes her extra sensitive to others' feelings and this allows her to help people through tough times with ease. Hopefully, her articles can do that for you.
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