10 Things My Married Self Wishes I Could Tell My Single Self

10 Things My Married Self Wishes I Could Tell My Single Self ©iStock/princigalli

If I knew back then what I know now, life would have been so much easier. I’ve been married for just over 3 years, and I’ve learned so much! If my single self had known back then what my married self knows now, my single self would have been wayyyyy less stressed and less worried about dating (and really, life in general.) If you’re a single gal, this one is for you! Here are 10 things my married self wishes I could tell my single self.

  1. You do not need to be perfect. All of that time I spent trying to be perfect, although sometimes fun, was not necessary. Perfect hair, perfect face, perfect body, perfect life. My husband loves me both with and without any of those things. If I’m happy he’s happy, and it would have been nice to know back then that the right guy really loves you as you are.
  2. Relish every single second, because you only have right now. I love my husband and our life, but I am nostalgic about the single days- Ladies nights, spending money however I wanted, only worrying about me. Tomorrow, some tall handsome foreign guy with a very sexy accent may sweep you off your feet and change your whole life.  You can’t have right now back again and I really believe right now is exactly where you are supposed to be, so live it up!
  3. Seriously, the right guys don’t care about any of the stupid crap. Like I said earlier, my guy doesn’t care that sometimes I want to be a glamour goddess and other times I don’t want to wash my hair or put pants on. He doesn’t care if my toes are polished or if I have a six-pack. He cares that I am happy, healthy and in love with him. My single self could have used some confirmation that one day a man would be like this. Back then it felt like men would never grow up!
  4. Buy the shoes, but make sure you put some money away, too. Girl, if you want the shoes you better buy them now. So long as they fit within your budget and you can still put 20% of every paycheck away to savings (this is great life advice, so you should do it if you don’t already!). When you’re married the money isn’t just yours anymore, so buying shoes all of the time is less likely to happen (and you won’t have a closet all to yourself anymore). So buy them now and enjoy them later.
  5. Quality over quantity, always. Having a few good female friends when you’re single becomes increasingly important when you’re married because it gets harder to see anyone. If I had known that back then I wouldn’t have tried so hard to have such a large squad, because honestly only a few of them still make the effort now that I’m married. Single ladies, search for good friends first before you worry about having a ton of them.
  6. Be careful what you wish for because it can come true. Hey single self, remember when you wished some guy would fall in love with you and would do all of the things no other guy ever did? Well, you got it, and your life is totally different than you expected. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life and my husband, but it is certainly a different life than I anticipated. Remember when you didn’t want kids when you were single, self, because no guy made you want them? Well, now that you’re married to a great guy you have the WORST baby fever. You’re. Welcome.
  7. The guy that makes the effort is always worth it. This is pretty simple… the guy that makes the effort for you is worth your time. The guy that doesn’t is not. Nothing good comes from spending your time with someone who isn’t worthy of it. You’ll only get hurt, and he’ll continue to think that he can act this way and get away with it. There is a guy out there who will make the effort!
  8. Men can become more attractive to you over time. I was attracted to my husband when I met him, but he has become even sexier to me over time because of how our relationship has grown. If my younger self knew that personalities can make people more attractive, I might not have skipped over some really nice guys who weren’t super studs. I was so shallow. Learn from my mistakes and date the nice guy before the hot douche!
  9. Don’t be afraid to be you. You are awesome! Really! I wish I could go hug my single self and say “you’re great and some guy will see that one day.” Even if all of the exes and kind-of-exes didn’t see it, this one guy will. To any single lady reading this, please know who you are is enough! Anyone that doesn’t think that can go fuck themselves. Seriously.
  10. Love unconditionally, endlessly, and like you’ll never get hurt. Life is short and no matter what you do, people will hurt you. So since it’s going to happen anyway, you might as well let down your guard, spread the love around, and add some joy to people’s lives. It’ll be worth it, I promise.
C. is an aspiring yogi and Ph.D student who loves her dogs, bright lipstick and to travel. Find her on IG @drparko121314