10 Things You Need More Than A Husband

10 Things You Need More Than A Husband iStock/South_agency

Society places such high importance on getting married that it’s easy to feel almost like a failure if you never manage to find a man to settle down with. While it’s fantastic if you do eventually find a guy you’d like to marry, it’s really no big deal if you never end up getting hitched as long as you have these things:

  1. A solid group of friends It doesn’t matter whether your social circle is big or small — what DOES matter is the quality of the people in it. Even the most independent people need at least one or two friends they know they can count on during both the good times and the bad. If you’re surrounded by awesome people, your marital status will be virtually irrelevant.
  2. A career you love Life is too short to spend hours and hours of every day being miserable. Money is important, sure, but if you hate everything about your job, you’re not going to feel fulfilled. As long as you have a job that makes you look forward to coming to work for some reason — whether it’s your clients, your coworkers, the work itself, or all of the above — you’re not going to need a husband to make your life feel worthwhile.
  3. Hobbies you’re passionate about Even if you love everything about your job, make sure you’re also doing something else purely for the joy of it. Everyone needs a break from life sometimes, and having some kind of a hobby, such as kickboxing or crafting, can really add sparkle to your daily routine and keep your brain feeling happy. Having things you enjoy doing is far more important than whether or not you ever walk down the aisle.
  4. Self-reliance Lots of things are way easier when you have someone else around, but there’s nothing quite as empowering as knowing you can make it on your own. Self-reliance is learned over time, but once you have it down, you’ll never be able to go back to depending on another person. Whether or not you end up in a relationship again, your ability to stand on your own two feet will serve you well for the rest of your life.
  5. Economic independence Being able to split bills is awesome no matter how filthy rich you are. However, there’s a strong sense of satisfaction that comes with knowing that you can pay for everything you do and own without anyone else’s assistance. Being able to rely on your own income to survive is a crucial life skill, and if you can get that down, it won’t even be an issue if your hypothetical husband doesn’t contribute enough to the bills.
  6. A strong sense of self-worth When you know exactly what you deserve, you’re never going to have to settle for anything. It takes a lot of time and effort to realize just how much you should value yourself, but if you don’t try to get there, you’re going to wake up one day and realize you’ve wasted a lot of time and energy on the wrong people and things. Gaining a sense of self-worth will ensure that in both life and love, you’re getting exactly what you should be.
  7. Something that motivates you Having something that pushes you to keep striving for more is crucial if you want to live your best life. If you can figure out an area you’d like to improve in, whether it’s at work, the gym, or in your social life, dig deep and figure out WHY you want to get better, and never let that thought escape. Motivation can be tough to find, but getting a hold of it will keep you moving forward so you don’t get stuck in the same place.
  8. A manageable self-care routine You don’t have to be a gym rat or live off of green smoothies in order to take care of yourself. You only get one body, though, and you owe it to yourself to not only create a lifestyle that helps it function at its best, but also one that you can maintain. If you can keep up the health junkie lifestyle every day of your life, awesome! But if you can only hit the gym twice a week and have a weakness for cheese curls, don’t beat yourself up over it. Just make sure you’re achieving both what makes you healthy and what makes you happy.
  9. A sense of happiness that doesn’t depend on your relationship status Some of us love being in relationships, and some could live the single life forever. It’s one thing to acknowledge that the presence or absence of romance in your life makes you happier, but it becomes a problem when your entire emotional state depends on whether or not you have a partner. When you’re able to find a variety of internal and external sources of satisfaction, even something as major as being married will just add to that joy rather than creating all of it.
  10. True love (for yourself) The last thing you want to do is get married just because you feel like you’re lacking love in your life. The truest kind of love that exists is the kind we should have for ourselves regardless of whether or not we’re getting it from someone else. If you can love yourself for who you are both inside and out, the love you’d get from a spouse would just be the cherry on top.
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu brown belt. She's also a TEFL/TESOL-certified ESL teacher and an equine enthusiast. Originally from Pennsylvania, she lived in Costa Rica for a while before moving to Australia. In addition to her work as a writer and editor for Bolde, she also has bylines with Little Things and regularly writes for Jiu-Jitsu Times.

You can follow Averi on Instagram @bjjaveri or on Twitter under the same handle.