I have mixed feelings about people getting engaged—and by mixed, I mean it’s super annoying. Some couples pull it off with style and humility, others get right up in your face about it and they’re the worst. Here are 10 of the worst things the latter type of couples do:
- Two words: engagement photos. I’m sorry, but why do newly engaged couples think that we care about a bunch of overpriced pictures of the two of them in some open field or in a forest? I look at them for maybe a few seconds and then it’s onto the next post on my newsfeed. The only reason people are doing engagement photos now is for Facebook and Instagram. They’re doing it for the likes, not to have a large collection for personal viewing. The fact that we’re being inundated with airbrushed photos of these “happy couples” is annoying AF.
- They set you up with literally EVERY SINGLE PERSON they know. Your engaged friends are SO in love that it’s starting to overflow all over you. They just want EVERYONE to be as happy as they are, even if it means setting you up with their friend who’s been single for three years and is majorly out of the game. They make him sound amazing on paper but when you go on that first date, it never ends up working out. Why is that? It’s because your engaged friends just want everyone to be as engaged as they are. Ugh. Leave us alone!
- They announce their love for each other on Facebook as if the world cares. If I see one more #ISaidYes hashtag, I just… I don’t even know what I’m gonna do but it’s not gonna be good. It’s not even just the announcement that bugs me—that’s actually pretty okay—it’s the status updates that follow the announcement that really annoy me. It’s like, we get it! He’s the greatest love of your life and you’re so excited to get married. Being in love is nothing to brag about. It’s the bare minimum to get engaged so please, calm down.
- They low-key brag about the size of their rings on Insta. Showing a zoomed in pic of your ring on Insta is like posting a picture of your bank statement. It’s awkward. Be humble about it. Think about all those singles out there you’re making feel inadequate and/or just annoyed as hell.
- They guilt you into being a part of their wedding party. Once you’ve been asked to be a bridesmaid, there’s not really much you can do to get around it. If you say no, your entire friendship will get awkward and things will never be the same between you. You kinda HAVE to say yes because if you don’t, you’d better say goodbye to the bride. Why should anyone be put in that position?
- They act like they’ve just cured cancer. Why is it that engaged couples act like they know something we don’t? As if they’ve accomplished some great feat. Oh, good for them—they met each other six months ago and now they’re promising to stay together forever. They haven’t even gotten married yet, so why are they treating your engagement like this huge milestone? They can let me know when they’ve made it past 10 years. I’ll be happy to give them a “like” on their status update then.
- They forget that not everyone wants to get married. When I see photos of engaged couples on social media, I don’t go “awww” like most girls would—I contract hives. To me, getting engaged is like agreeing to chain yourself to another person for the rest of your life. No one is ready to make that kind of decision, I don’t care who you are. Why do you think the divorce rate is now at 50 percent? People don’t know what they’re doing when they get engaged and chances are, all that money they spent on rings and engagement photos is gonna go right down the drain. Shame.
- They start counting down to their wedding a whole year in advance. Okay, it’s bad enough that they’re bragging about being engaged, but I wish they wouldn’t inundate us singles with their wedding updates as if we care about whether or not their mint-green tablecloths came in from Amazon. We don’t care and probably still won’t when we’re eating off of them. Sorry, but it’s true.
- They suddenly act like they’re experts on marriage. They haven’t even tied the knot yet and already they’re talking like an old married couple. They say things like, “Love should be easy” and, “You’ll just know when you’ve found the one.” Ugh, spare me. The honeymoon phase hasn’t even begun yet!
- They ask other couples when they plan on getting married. This is pretty insensitive and just downright annoying. Our engaged friends are living in a dream world right now and assume that everyone else in their friend group should want to get married as well. They act like they’re already there and become advocates for marriage and why everyone should do it. It’s just straight up peer pressure if you ask me—and I refuse to give in.
